High Holidays Seating Request Form

During the last Yom Kippur High Holiday, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the synagogue. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue office as soon as possible.

  1. I would prefer to sit in the... (Check one:)
    ___ Talking section
    ___ No talking section
  2. If talking, which category do you prefer?
    (Indicate order of interest:)
    ___ Stock market
    ___ Sports
    ___ Medicine
    ___ General gossip
    ___ Specific gossip (choose from below:)
    ___ The rabbi
    ___ The cantor
    ___ The cantor's voice
    ___ The cantor's significant other
    ___ The rabbi�s significant other
    ___ Fashion news
    ___ What others are wearing
    ___ Why they look awful
    ___ My neighbors
    ___ My relatives
    ___ My neighbors' relatives
    ___ Presidential Election, results from
    ___ Who is cheating on/having an affair with whom
    ___ My children/grandchildren
    ___ Other:_______________________________
  3. Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?
    __ Doctor
    __ Dentist
    __ Nutritionist
    __ Psychiatrist
    __ Child psychiatrist
    __ Podiatrist
    __ Chiropractor
    __ Stockbroker
    __ Accountant
    __ Lawyer, General Practice
    __ Criminal Lawyer
    __ Civil Lawyer
    __ Real estate agent
    __ Architect
    __ Plumber
    __ Buyer (Specify store:_____________ )
    __ Sexologist  (??)
    __ Golf pro [tentative; we're still trying to find a Jewish One]
    __ Other:____________________________
  4. I want a seat located (Indicate order of priority:)
    __ On the aisle
    __ Near the exit
    __ Near the window
    __ In Aruba
    __ Near the bathroom
    __ Near my in-laws
    __ As far away from my in-laws as possible
    __ As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
    __ Near the pulpit
    __ Near single men
    __ Near available women
    __ Where no one on the bimah can see/hear me talking during services
    __ Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
    __ Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon [additional charge]
    __ Where I can text from my iPhone (SHHHH)
  5. (Orthodox only.) I would like a seat where:
    __ I can see my spouse over the mechitza
    __ I cannot see my spouse over the mechitza
    __ I can see my friend's spouse over the mechitza
    __ My spouse cannot see me looking at my friend's spouse over the mechitza
  6. Please do not place me anywhere near the following people:
    (Limit of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider joining another congregation.)
    _________________________
    _________________________
    _________________________
    _________________________
    _________________________
    _________________________

Your name:_________________________________
Building fund pledge (acknowledging and in grateful appreciation for
this change): $________________________

Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Joke of the day - High Holidays Seating Request Form

is the best Joke for Tuesday, 01 October 2019 from site Friars Club - High Holidays Seating Request Form.
Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. Goal is to have funny joke every day.
Different people consider different jokes funny, so joke can not satisfy taste for everyone. Some people like Lawyer jokes, other do not consider lawers jokes funny.
People developing software, or doing anything with the software my consider some geek stuff funny, but it might not be funny for the others.
We try to deliver best jokes every day. But, it depends on sites we take jokes from. Besides jokes, find funny photos and funny videos. Great archive so far, years of collected jokes.
NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.

Jokes Archive