Lawyer quickies 3

Q: How do you kill 4000 lawyers?

A: You build a new Titanic and declare it cannot sink.

Q: What's the strongest argument against both theories of origin?

A: Politicians and lawyers. Who in their right mind would create (or evolve into) these species?

Q: If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

A: Never enough.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers word processor?

A: No matter what font you select, everything come out in fine print.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?

A: A lobotomy.

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

A: One's a bottom-crawling scum sucker and the other's just a fish.

Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a catfish?

A: One's slimey and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.

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