Lose Weight Fast!

There one was a heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the

world in an attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale

diet, the Navy diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None

worked. One day, he was reading the Washington Post when he

noticed a small ad that read:

Lose weight: Only $1.00 a pound

Call (202) 555-0238

The man decided to give it a try and called the number. A

voice on the other end asked, "How much weight do you want to

lose?"

The man responded, "Ten pounds."

The voice replied, "Very well, give me your credit card

number and we'll have a representative over to your house in

the morning."

About 9:00 am the next morning the man gets a knock on the

door. There stood a beautiful redhead, completely naked

except for a sign around her neck stating, "If you catch me,

you can have me."

Well,the hefty fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs, over

sofas, through the kitchen, all around the house. Finally,

panting and wheezing like a dog, he did catch her. When he

was through enjoying himself, she said, "Quick, go into the

bathroom and weigh yourself." He did just that and was amazed

to find that he had lost ten pounds, right to the ounce!

That evening he called the number again. The voice on the

other end asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?"--to

which the somewhat-less-overweight man replied, "Twenty

pounds." "Very well," the voice on the phone told him, "Give

me your credit card number and we'll have a representative

over to your house in the morning."

"At about 8:00 am the next morning the man receives a knock

on the door. When he opens the door he sees a beautiful

blonde dressed only in track shoes and a sign around her neck

stating, "If you catch me, you can have me." The chase took a

good while longer this time and the man nearly passed out,

but he finally did catch her. When he was through she told

him, "Quick, run into the bathroom and weigh yourself." He

ran to the bathroom and found he had lost another 20 pounds!

"This is fantastic!" he thought to himself.

Later that evening he called the number again and the voice

at the other end asked, "How much weight do you want to

lose?" "Fifty pounds!" the man exclaimed. "Fifty pounds?" the

voice asked, "That's an awful lot of weight to lose at one

time." The man replied, "Listen buddy, here's my credit card

number, you just have your representative over here in the

morning!" and he hung up the phone.

About 6:00 am the next morning the man gets out of bed,

splashes on some cologne and gets all ready for the next

representative. At about 7:00 am he gets a knock on the door.

When he opens the door, he sees this large gorilla with a

sign around his neck stating, "If I catch you, I am going to

have you."