Never raise your hands to your

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves yourgroin unprotected.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, nopain.
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikazepilots wore helmets.
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should havebeen more specific.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets madat you, but when you take him in a car he sticks hishead out the window?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is anidiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
You have to stay in shape. My mother started walkingfive miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and wehave no idea where she is.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I goout, I lock every second one. I figure no matter howlong somebody stands there picking the locks, they arealways locking three of them.
One out of every three Americans is suffering fromsome form of mental illness. Think of two of your bestfriends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. Ithink if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains allover it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggestproblem.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls andthey tell you it's because they're such beautifulanimals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only havephotographs of her on the wall.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at mysuede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow wasmurdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know therewere any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.
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Joke of the day - Never raise your hands to your

is the best Joke for Thursday, 07 January 2016 from site jokes warehouse - Never raise your hands to your.
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