New Computer Viruses

You're always hearing about new computer viruses running

around. Here are some to watch out for. BEWARE!

LEWINSKY VIRUS

--Sucks all the memory out of your computer...then e-mails

everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS

--Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS

--Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS

--Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then

slowly expands to 200MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS

--Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS

--Disks can no longer be inserted.

DISNEY VIRUS

--Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS

--Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS

--Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS

--Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAAAAK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS

--Re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then

discards it through Windows.

VIAGRA VIRUS

--Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

CLINTON VIRUS

--Gives you a 6 inch hard drive with NO memory.

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