New Prayers

The girls' prayer:

Our Cash

Which art on plastic

Hallowed be thy name

Thy Cartier watch

Thy Prada bag

In Myer

As it is in David Jones

Give us each day our Platinum Visa

And forgive us our overdraft

As we forgive those who stop our Mastercard

And lead us not into Katies

And deliver us from Sussans

For thine is the Dinnigan,

the Akira and the Armani

For Chanel No.5 and Eternity

Amex.

The boys' prayer:

Our beer

Which art in bottles

Hallowed by thy sport

Thy will be drunk

I will be drunk

At home as it is in the pub

Give us each day our daily schooners

And forgive us our spillage

As we forgive those who spillest against us

And lead us not into the practice of poofy wine tasting

And deliver us from Tequila

For mine is the bitter

The chicks and the footy

Forever and ever

Barmen.