Cracking the Human Resource Code

COMPETITIVE SALARY
Most of our competitors dont pay much either.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY
We have no time to train you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE
Youll be here very late, very often -- might as well be comfortable.
MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED
Your first four projects are already way overdue.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED
Did we mention that youll be here very late, very often? And most weekends.
DUTIES WILL VARY
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL
We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED
Female applicants must be childless.
APPLY IN PERSON
If youre old, fat or ugly, that position has already been filled.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE
This job listing is just a legal formality. The position was filled by some executives nephew.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE
Due to consolidation, youll be replacing three people.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST
This company is a total mess.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS
Youll have all the responsibilities of upper management, without the pay, title or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Listen to management, figure out what they want, dont ask too many questions and get the sh*t done.
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Joke of the day - Cracking the Human Resource Code

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