Jokes of the day for Saturday, 30 August 2008

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 30 August 2008
  • Currently 9.41/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (120)

[an error occurred while proce...

[an error occurred while processing this directive]
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jobs 1 - UK Job search joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Chinese Jews


Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

"Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in China?"

"I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"When the waiter came by, Al said, "Are there any Chinese Jews?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen.

He quickly returned and said, "No, sir. No Chinese Jews."

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Chinese Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

At last; a cause that I can really support!

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weeend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
‘Reverend,' said the young man, ‘I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.' The minister chuckled, ‘I know what you mean. *It's the same in my
business.'

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (4)

An executive was attempting to...

An executive was attempting to do some menial office work himself. His assistant found him standing in front of the office shredder holding a piece of paper with a puzzled look on his face.

"Can I help you?" the assistant asked.

"I'm having trouble, I'll have to admit," replied the executive.

"Here let me show you." said the assistant, and he took the piece of paper, placed it in the feed chute and pressed the red 'ON' button. The shredder hummed and sucked in the piece of paper.

"Wow! I'm embarrassed. That's pretty easy," the executive exclaimed. "Oh, and I just need one copy."

#joke
Joke | Source: Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
  • Currently 4.40/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (5)

On the first day of Spring Tra...

On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add to the starting lineup. The coach asks, "What the heck did you bring that horse here for?"

The scout replies, "Wait until you see him bat."

All the players are laughing, until the horse comes to bat. At this point, the horse grabs the bat and everyone quiets down. They stare at the horse.

The pitcher, just shrugs his shoulders, and throws the ball toward home plate, when astonishingly, the horse hits the ball deep into the outfield.

The horse just stands there and does not move. The manager then yells at the baseball scout to tell the horse to run to first base.

The scout looks back at the manager and yells back, "If he could run, he'd be at Belmont!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 6.29/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (7)

Annual physical...

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?"

"Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy."

"That's a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?"

"Yeah, and they're in favor 15 to 2."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (3)

Calculate the number 1937

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 1937 using numbers [1, 2, 6, 3, 73, 639] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A television licence detector ...

A television licence detector calls at a house in Leith and asks to see the licence. But the wee woman is in an awful hurry to catch her bus. As she flies down the stairs she shouts back: "A've got my licence. It's on the mantelpiece under the Wally Dug. Call back when my man's in and he will show you."
When the detector calls back later, her man says: "Aye, we have a licence, but I don't know where it is, and the wife's no in." The inspector says: "It's under the Wally Dug!!"

Back comes the wee man with the licence, saying "Wow, that's some detection machine you guys have got!"

#joke
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (5)

A blonde pushes her BMW ...

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.

She approaches the mechanic and tells him her car just died.

The mechanic spends a few minutes working on the car and gets it working smoothly again.

The blond looks at the mechanic and says, "So, what's the story?"

The mechanic replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."

In a state of amazement she answers, "How often do I have to do that?"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
  • Currently 2.67/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (3)

How do you define "subdued"? T...

How do you define "subdued"? That's, like, a guy who, like, works on one of those, like, submarines, man!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 5.83/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (6)

Question And Answer Blond Jokes


Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A: Frosted Flakes.


Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's white-out on the screen.


Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's writing on the white-out.


Q: How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?

A: There is a stamp on it.


Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?

A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.


Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.


Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A: It takes too long to retrain them.





#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

Alamo

Why did the Mexicans fight so hard to capture the Alamo?

So they could have four clean walls to write on.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Glaci

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (4)

Shirts Off

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing.
The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed.
So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."
#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (3)

an explorer in the deepest Ama...

an explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm fucked."

There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: "No you are NOT fucked. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."

So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living shit out of the chief.

As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, God's voice booms out again: "Okay . . . NOW you're fucked."

#joke
Joke | Source: Ray Owens' Joke A Day - Making Fun Of Morons Since 1863
  • Currently 5.15/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (46)

All Categories

Q: How many Manchester City fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 26 June 2008
  • Currently 4.68/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (40)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.