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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, Sep the 9th 2008
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Two fraternity brothers... |
| Two fraternity brothers decide to go sailing one afternoon and become lost. After twenty hours with nothing to eat or drink, one of them spots a lamp floating by. He picks it up and a genie pops out. The genie notices the poor condition of the brothers and grants them one wish between the two of them.
After a lot of arguing over who gets the wish, one of them blurts out, "I wish the ocean was made of beer."
Magically, the ocean turns to beer.
Infuriated, the other guy yells, "You idiot! Now we have to piss in the boat!" |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 4.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Writing letters to son |
| The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping.
Didn't realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note:
"Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 3.5/10 (4 votes cast) |
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A Collection Of Insults |
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
In the next life, you'll blaze a way for us.
You are master in your own house -- the doghouse!
When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.
Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?
I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.
Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
Some day you will find yourself -- and wish that you hadn't.
People clap when they see you -- their hands over their eyes or ears.
Whatever is eating you -- must be suffering horribly.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
| You know you're too fat ... if after your visit to the department store they had to change their signs from "One size fits all" to "One size fits most." |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mum, why are wedding dresses white?"
The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."
The son thanks his mum, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"
The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."
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Permalink | Source : http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
Rating: 5.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
How do you make toast in the jungle?
You take your bread and just find a gorilla.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 4.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Wish granted??? |
A couple had been married for 35 years, and the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them each one wish.
The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic wand and BOOM! The wife had the tickets in her hand.
Then it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said boldly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than I." The fairy godmother picked up her wand and BOOM! He was now 90. |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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All Categories |
Q: How many Manchester City fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
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Permalink | Source : funny-haha.co.uk - Number of jokes in categories, joke of the day
Rating: 4.2/10 (22 votes cast) |
"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburettor."
"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburettor is."
"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburettor."
"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"
"In the swimming pool." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 4.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
| A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the street between their establishments. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it" the priest replied. The rabbi replied "Oh," then he ran back into the synagogue. He reappeared a few minutes later with a hack saw, ran to the car and cut off the last 2 inches of the tailpipe. |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
| Joke of the Day - What To Say About That “Special” Christmas Gift
Christmas Humor
Hey! There’s a gift!
Well, well, well …
Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve fit.
This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
Gosh! I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.
If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!
I love it — but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
To think…I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
I really don’t deserve this.
It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
Quite Funny Jokes |
Permalink | Source : Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
Rating: 5.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Who Is the Real Virgin? |
A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming knowledgeable about the Bible.
But one day, she surprised her grandmother by asking, "Which virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
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Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 7.3/10 (6 votes cast) |
EAGER TO IMPRESS THE BOSS
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the
CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document
here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing
work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted
the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
machine. "I just need one copy."
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Permalink | Source : Jobs 1 - UK Job search joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (5 votes cast) |
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