Seen in ...Seen in real CVs:
"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."
"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"I was working for my mum until she decided to move."
A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?
A woman took a vacation to Fra...A woman took a vacation to France recently with one of her girlfriends.
Her husband drove her to the airport and wished her a good trip. The wife asked, "Would you like me to bring something back for you?"
The husband laughed and says, "How about a French girl!"
Our lady kept quiet, didn't respond and went into the terminal.
Two weeks later her husband picked her up at the airport and asked, "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Really great, I loved Paris."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"What I asked for....the French girl?"
"Oh, that? Well, I did what I could, now we'll have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl."
Benny had told all his friends about the delicious steak he'd eaten in the Delancey Street restaurant the day before. So they decided to go down there and see if it was really as large and delicious as he said. But, much to their disappointment, the waiter brought them the tiniest steak they'd ever seen.
"See here, my good man," Benny barked. "I was in this restaurant yesterday, and you served me a big, juicy steak, and now today, when I've organized a party and highly recommended this place, you serve such a small one."
"Yes, sir," replied the waiter. "But yesterday you were sitting by the window."
What do you call a woman with ...What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Sean Edwards, Leith
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