The local bar was so sure that...The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight lifters,longshoremen, etc..) but nobody could do it.
One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said "okay," grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.
He then handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?"
The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
Mom and catsup...
A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it.
"It's the Minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she said to him, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
The fight we had last night wa...The fight we had last night was my fault.
Tony White, Loanhead
If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@edinburgh news.com