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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, Dec the 14th 2008
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The Blonde's Hai |
| One day a blonde walked into a barber shop and asked for a hair cut. when the barber asked her how she wanted it she said any way, just don't take of my headphones.
She went into the barber shop every day for a month and told the barber the same thing every day.
One day the barber decided to see what would happen when he took off the headphones. When he did the blonde grabbed her neck then fell over dead.
When the barber listened to the headphones they were saying breathe in breathe out.... |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Out Of Food Supplies |
With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, our schedule was hectic.
To add to this, we kept running out of household supplies.
I instructed them all to let me know when they used the last of any item by writing it down on a note pad on the refrigerator.
As a reminder, I wrote at the top: "IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT DOWN."
When I checked the pad a few days later, to my delight I found the following message:
"MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT 'OUT OF IT."'
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
New Woman on the Block
A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months." This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?" A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies. Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.
The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?" The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes."
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Permalink | Source : http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
| What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
You take me for grunted.
Pauline Smith, Leith
The full article contains 21 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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New household cleaner |
Did you hear about the new household cleaner just put on the market?
It's called "Bachelor."
Why?
Because it works fast, and leaves no ring. |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
The Official Polish Sex Quiz
Study each question carefully. Then, choose the answer that seems most correct ("T" for True or "F" for False) and mark an "X" (just like you sign your name) under the appropriate heading on the right side.
T F
1. A clitoris is a type of flower. _ _
2. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit. _ _
3. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird. _ _
4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble. _ _
5. Menstrual cycle has three (3) wheels. _ _
6. A G-string is part of a violin. _ _
7. Semen is another word for "sailor". _ _
8. Anus is the Latin word for "yearly". _ _
9. Testicles are found on an octopus. _ _
10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles. _ _
11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. _ _
12. KOTEX is a radio station in Bryan, Texas. _ _
13. Coitus is a musical instrument. _ _
14. Fetus is a character on "Gunsmoke". _ _
15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. _ _
16. A condom is an apartment complex. _ _
17. An organism is the person who accompanies the church choir. _ _
18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry. _ _
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. _ _
20. An erection is when the Japanese go to the voting booths. _ _
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. _ _
22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass. _ _
23. Pornography is the business of making record albums. _ _
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins. _ _
25. Douche is the Italian word for "twelve". _ _
26. An enema is someone who is not your friend. _ _
27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese. _ _ |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 5.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
| When I was married, my wife used to call me handsome. As a matter of fact, we are now divorced but she STILL calls me handsome. Every time I have some money, she says, HANDSOME OVER. |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 7.6/10 (7 votes cast) |
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Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something “practical” for her birthday.
“Suppose we open a savings account for you?” Mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. |
A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work.
The dog is a brilliant piano player. He plays all the
standards. He’s sitting there, pounding out the tunes,
when all of a sudden, a big dog comes in and drags him
out. The nightclub owner asks, “What happened?”
The manager says,
“That’s his mother. She wants him to be a doctor.” |
Permalink | Source : Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
Rating: 5.0/10 (10 votes cast) |
Ten reasons why alcohol should be served at work:
1 It's an incentive to show up.
2 It encourages car sharing.
3 Increases job satisfaction because you don't care.
4 It makes fellow employees look better.
5 It makes the canteen food taste a lot better.
6 It reduces stress.
7 Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
8 You tell management what you think, not what they want to hear.
9 Burping during meetings isn't so embarrassing.
10 Bosses are more likely to hand out raises.
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Permalink | Source : Jobs 1 - UK Job search joke of the day
Rating: 5.7/10 (6 votes cast) |
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