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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, Jan the 8th 2009
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| A woman had four different husbands in turn -- a banker, an actor, a preacher, and an undertaker. Her theme song: "One for the money, two for the show, three to make ready, and four to go." |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
Impressions
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her
respect her
honor her
cuddle her
kiss her, caress her
love her, stroke her
tease her
comfort her
protect her
hug her
hold her
spend money on her
wine and dine her
buy things for her
listen to her
care for her
stand by her
support her
hold her
go to the ends of the Earth for her
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Show up naked
Bring food & beer
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Permalink | Source : http://www.webwombat.com.au/ - Jokes: Joke of the Day
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.
At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did not remember every single detail of an automobile accident. While the lawyer knew that no witness has a perfect memory, he had honed a skill in exploiting minor inconsistencies and lapses of memory in order to challenge the credibility of honest witnesses. After a series of scathing cross-examinations, he was looking forward to his examination of yet another witness.
'Did you actually see the accident?' he asked.
The witness responded with a polite, 'Yes, sir.'
'How far away were you when the accident happened?'
'I was Thirty-four feet, seven and three quarters inches away from the point of collision.'
'Thirty-four feet, seven and three quarter inches?' the lawyer asked, sarcastically, 'Do you expect us to believe that your memory is so good, and your sense of distance is so precise, that months after the accident you can come into court and give that type of detail?'
The witness was unphased. 'Sir, I had a hunch that some obnoxious, know-it-all lawyer would ask me the distance, and would try to make it seem like I was lying if I could not give an exact answer. So I got a tape measure, and measured out the exact distance.' |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something “practical” for her birthday.
“Suppose we open a savings account for you?” Mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. |
A manager brings a dog into a nightclub to work.
The dog is a brilliant piano player. He plays all the
standards. He’s sitting there, pounding out the tunes,
when all of a sudden, a big dog comes in and drags him
out. The nightclub owner asks, “What happened?”
The manager says,
“That’s his mother. She wants him to be a doctor.” |
Permalink | Source : Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
Rating: 5.0/10 (10 votes cast) |
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