Jokes of the day for Friday, 16 January 2009

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 16 January 2009
  • Currently 9.47/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (132)

This woman is about to board a...

This woman is about to board a bus, but when she steps up, she realizes that her skirt is too tight, and she can't lift her leg to board. So, she reaches around behind her and lowers her zipper a bit and tries again.

Skirt's still too tight, so she reaches behind her and lowers her zipper some more, and tries again. She still can't get on, so she reaches back and lowers the zipper a bit more. She tries to step up, and feels two hands on her butt push her up onto the bus. She spins around and says, "Sir, I don't know you well enough for you to do that!"

He says, "Lady, I sure don't know you well enough for you to lower my zipper three times."
#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 5.78/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (9)

Physics...

One day our physics professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"

"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.

A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So, how does physics save lives?" he persisted.

"It keeps the idiots out of medical school," replied the professor.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.08/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (12)

What lies on the seabed and qu...

What lies on the seabed and quivers?
A nervous wreck

Douglas Oliver, Leith
If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail: letters_en@edinburgh news.com


The full article contains 36 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
Page 1 of 1

  • #joke
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (2)

How do you confuse a supermode...

How do you confuse a supermodel? Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 6.75/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (4)

Be Politically Correct


How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men)



He does not have a beer gut...

He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)

He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys)



He is not quiet...

He is a Conversational Minimalist.

He is a SAMS grad.



He is not stupid...

He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.

He is a field grade.



He does not get lost all the time...

He discovers Alternative Destinations.

He gets temporarily misoriented.



He is not balding...

He is in Follicle Regression.

He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.



He is not a cradle robber...

He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.

He is breaking the new fraternization policies.



He does not get falling-down drunk...

He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.

He practices his IMTs in the club.



He is not short...

He is Anatomically Compact.

He suffers from a Napoleon Complex.



He does not have a rich daddy...

He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.

He has the Army as a hobby.



He does not constantly talk about cars...

He has a Vehicular Addiction.

He must be a Transporter.



He does not have a hot body...

He is Physically Combustible.

He is a PT stud.



He is not unsophisticated...

He is Socially Challenged.

He is a Ranger.



He does not eat like a pig...

He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.

He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut.



He is not a bad dancer...

He is Overly Caucasian.

He is from the Muddy Boots Army.



He does not hog the blankets...

He is Thermally Unappreciative.

He is a Blue Falcon.



He is not a male chauvinist pig...

He has Swine Empathy.

He must be combat arms.



He is not afraid of commitment...

He is Monogamously Challenged.

He loves TDY.





#joke #beer
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Happy New Year…Is Everybody Happy!!!??? (Author A. Nonymous)

I want you to be the first to send you this Happy New Year g Answering Machine Messages

Hi, this is Stephanie's answering machine.

If you're the phone company asking for money, stop bugging her, she'll send it sooner or later. If you're a TV company advertising TVs, she already has a TV with every channel known to man, and several known to monkeys.

If you called for any other reasons, please hang up the phone, start screaming, and run to the nearest shoe store. When you get there, ask them for a cheeseburger. (This probably won't help you, but we'll always have something to laugh about when we're bored.)

Answering Machine Messages

#joke #newyear
Joke | Source: Joke of the day - Jokes of the day on Wordpress
  • Currently 4.09/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (11)

Find the right combination

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

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