|
Jokes of the day
|
|
Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
|
|
Bookmark jokes of the day:
|
Use this button to add jokes of the day to favourites, del, digg, myspace. Make jokes just click away wherever you are.
|
|
Missed jokes of the day yesterday?
|
|
Visit Jokes of the day archive
- all the Jokes of the day you have missed. All jokes since Jokes of the day site is running.
|
|
Note:
|
All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
Jokes feed
|
|
Jokes of the day for Saturday, Jan the 31st 2009
|
|
Mental Institution Pop Quiz |
Jon and Dan are in a mental institution which has an annual contest that picks two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they answer correctly, they are released.
Jon is called into the doctors office first. The doctor says, Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?
Jon says, Id be half blind.
Thats correct. What would happen if I poked out both your eyes?
Id be completely blind. The doctor tells him that he is free to go. On Jons way out he tells Dan the questions and answers.
The doctor asks Dan, What would happen if I cut off one of your ears?
Dan says, Id be half blind.
The doctor, slightly puzzled, continues, What would happen if I cut off both your ears?
Id be completely blind.
Dan, how can you explain that youd be blind? asks the doctor.
Well, replies Dan, my hat would fall over my eyes. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
|
You got the warning |
| Finding one of her students making faces at
others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to
gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher
said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told
if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and
I would stay like that."
Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith,
you can't say you weren't warned." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 7.3/10 (7 votes cast) |
| A supermodel finds a mirror compact, looks inside, and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." A second supermodel takes a look too, and says, "You dummy, it's me!" |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
|
|
jokes of the day ads
|
A husband says to his to friend: "My wife wasn't happy with the bag and belt I gave her for her birthday â but at least the vacuum cleaner works better."
|
Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
|
You know that you are living in 2009 when... |
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to send this list.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 6.2/10 (6 votes cast) |
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly.
The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 5.5/10 (4 votes cast) |
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
|
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
Getting Ready For a Trip
|
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station.
Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump."Reverend," said the young man, "Sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
|
4 Weeks |
| A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, " We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event." |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.
"This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?"
"No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror." |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 4.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
|
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
|
|
|
Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
|
|
Webmaster resurces
|
|
On jokes of the day webmaster resurces page please find details
related to link exchange or other forms of cooperation with Jokes of the day
|
|
Jokes resources
|
|
Resources - web sites jokes are coming from, other joke related sites. Jokes of the day partners.
|
|
Travel photos
|
|
Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
|
|
|
