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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 05 February 2009

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 05 February 2009

Q: Why don't ...

Q: Why don't blind people go skydiving?

A: Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
  • Currently 3.25/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (4)

Potentially vs. Realistically

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 6.83/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (6)

SLIDESHOW #129 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Angry Witch

Q. What do you call an angry Witch?
A. Ribbit

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 3.32/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (44)

How do you make a blonde laugh...

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday? Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

There were four men, one from ...

There were four men, one from China, Greenland, America and one
from Australia.
One night they were bragging on how good their country are. The
Chinese said, "my country is the best cause we have the great
wall."
The Greenlander said, "no, mine is the best as we have the
greenest greenest grass."
The American said, "no, mine is the best as we have our flag 50
stars and 50 stripes."
The Australian said, "no, mine is the greatest country as we
have the kangaroo which will jump over the great wall, shit on
the greenest greenest grass and wipe its ass on the American
flag."
#joke
  • Currently 2.34/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (74)

An old man goes to the Wizard ...

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
#joke
  • Currently 5.73/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (37)

Answering Machine Message 199


OK, one more time... This is our answering machine... This is the message on our answering machine... Any questions?

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (2)

Son of a lawyer

While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted.

"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Adam," replied the second.

"My daddy is a doctor. What does YOUR daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.

Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Joshua.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.

#joke #doctor #lawyer
  • Currently 6.97/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (31)

Why can't a nose be 12 inches ...

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 2.67/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (3)

Why did the dude tip-toe past ...

Why did the dude tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? So he wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (4)

Mixing Politics and Religion

The last time politics was mixed with religion, people were

burned at the stake.

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.57/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (7)

War Boarder

A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.
Well, answers the priest, thats not a sin.
But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed.
I admit that wasnt good, but you did it for a good cause.
Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question.
What is that, my son?
Do I have to tell him the war is over?
#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (5)

April Fools' Day Pranks - Picture This

Take a screenshot of the desktop of Dad's computer, and leave the image open. Sit back and let him freak out for a few minutes, believing the computer is frozen.
#joke #short #aprilfoolsday #prank
  • Currently 5.56/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (9)

Little Boy in Thunder Storm

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."

#joke
  • Currently 7.54/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (13)

When can we see the baby?

With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. “May we see the new baby?” one of them asked.

“Not yet,” said the mother. “I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”

Another half hour passed before another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet,” said the mother.

A while later and again the guests asked, “May we see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied the mother.

Growing impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?”

“When it cries!” she told them.

"When it cries?” they gasped. “Why do we have to wait until it cries?”

“Because, I forgot where I put it.”

#joke
  • Currently 8.23/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (13)

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