Happy New Year 2021!! 
Q: Why don't ...
Q: Why don't blind people go skydiving?A: Because it scares the hell out of their dogs.
#joke #short
Potentially vs. Realistically
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"#joke #short
There were four men, one from ...
There were four men, one from China, Greenland, America and onefrom Australia.
One night they were bragging on how good their country are. The
Chinese said, "my country is the best cause we have the great
wall."
The Greenlander said, "no, mine is the best as we have the
greenest greenest grass."
The American said, "no, mine is the best as we have our flag 50
stars and 50 stripes."
The Australian said, "no, mine is the greatest country as we
have the kangaroo which will jump over the great wall, shit on
the greenest greenest grass and wipe its ass on the American
flag."
#joke
An old man goes to the Wizard ...
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
#joke
Calculate the number 1999
NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 1999 using numbers [3, 5, 6, 3, 27, 224] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
Answering Machine Message 199
OK, one more time... This is our answering machine... This is the message on our answering machine... Any questions?
#joke #short
Son of a lawyer
While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted.
"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Adam," replied the second.
"My daddy is a doctor. What does YOUR daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.
Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Joshua.
"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches ...
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?Because then it would be a foot
#joke #short
Why did the dude tip-toe past ...
Why did the dude tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? So he wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.#joke #short
Mixing Politics and Religion
The last time politics was mixed with religion, people wereburned at the stake.
#joke #short
War Boarder
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic.
Well, answers the priest, thats not a sin.
But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed.
I admit that wasnt good, but you did it for a good cause.
Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question.
What is that, my son?
Do I have to tell him the war is over?
#joke