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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Saturday, Feb the 7th 2009
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Drunk Driver Test |
A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer.
I cant do that, officer, Im an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.
OK, well just get a urine sample down at the station.
Cant do that either, officer. Im a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup.
Alright, we could get a blood sample.
Cant do that either, officer. Im a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die.
Fine then, just walk this white line.
Cant do that either, officer.
Why not?
Because Im drunk. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 3.5/10 (4 votes cast) |
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The Mailbox |
| A man was in his front yard mowing grass when an attractive blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angered, she again stormed back in her house.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out yet again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked, "Is something wrong?" "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying "You've Got Mail."
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Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 2.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Knock Knock Collection 142 |
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oscar!
Oscar who?
Oscar a silly question, get a silly answer!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
O'Shea!
O'Shea who?
O'Shea that's a sad story!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oslo!
Oslo who!
Oslo down, whats the hurry!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oswald!
Oswald who?
Oswald my chewing gum!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oswego!
Oswego who?
Oswego marching, marching home ...!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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| Did you hear about the jailed dude who was found in his cell with half a dozen bumps on his head? He tried to hang himself with a bungee cord. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
What's The Difference Between A Bad Golfer And A Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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Fear of Flying
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There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her.
One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing.
After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"
The woman replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"
She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."
He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"
The woman said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.
"Then you can ask him," replied the woman. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.5/10 (8 votes cast) |
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Porsche For Sale |
| A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye. It clearly announced, "\$500 Porsche! New!" |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 4.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
Q: Why did God give women two sets of lips?
A: So they could piss and moan at the same time. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 6.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
The General Managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (NewSouth Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) were at a national beer conference.
They decide to all go to lunch together and the waitress asks what they want to drink.
The General Manager of Tooheys says without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."
The General Manager of Cascade smiles and says, "I'll have a Cascade Draught, brewed from pure mountain water."
The General Manager of Coopers proudly says, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers."
The bloke from XXXX says, "I'll have a XXXX, the cleanest beer on the planet."
The General Manager from Carlton glances at his lunch mates and says, "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The others look at him like he has sprouted a new head.
He just shrugs and says, "Well if you poofters aren't drinking beer, then neither will I." |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.9/10 (9 votes cast) |
Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
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Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
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Travel photos
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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