Jokes of the day for Saturday, 07 February 2009

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 07 February 2009
  • Currently 9.46/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (134)

Q: What do yo...

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?



A: You slap the bitch.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Top Ten Country & Western Song

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Grandpa and God

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?”
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, “Now, how are we alike?”
“You’re both old,” he replied.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.81/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (37)

Girl: You would be a good dan...

Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

The General Managers of Cascad...

The General Managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (NewSouth Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) were at a national beer conference.
They decide to all go to lunch together and the waitress asks what they want to drink.
The General Manager of Tooheys says without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."
The General Manager of Cascade smiles and says, "I'll have a Cascade Draught, brewed from pure mountain water."
The General Manager of Coopers proudly says, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers."
The bloke from XXXX says, "I'll have a XXXX, the cleanest beer on the planet."
The General Manager from Carlton glances at his lunch mates and says, "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The others look at him like he has sprouted a new head.
He just shrugs and says, "Well if you poofters aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: Jokes of The day - Used to be - Australian Joke of the day - site changed purpose and no longer serves jokes
  • Currently 5.63/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (30)

What's The Difference Bet...

What's The Difference Between A Bad Golfer And A Bad Skydiver?

A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!

A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (6)

Find a famous person

Find the first and the last name of a famous person. Text may go in all 8 directions. Length of words in solution: 6,4.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Solution To The Y2K Problem


The government's system administration team, working with computer manufacturers and experts in the computer industry, has found a lower cost alternative to address the Y2K (Year 2000) issue: The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by December 31, 1999. In exchange for taking every computer, an Etch-A-Sketch will be issued to all Americans. There are many reasons for doing this:
1. No Y2K problems.
2. No technical glitches keeping working from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing E-Mails.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has funny lines all over the screen. What do I do?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a new document?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for re-booting my Etch-A-Sketch ?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch ?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch Document ?
A: Don't shake it.

#joke #december
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (4)

Mechanical vs. Chemical

Q: Whats the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
A: Mechanical engineers build weapons; civil engineers build targets.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (2)

Did you hear about the jailed ...

Did you hear about the jailed dude who was found in his cell with half a dozen bumps on his head? He tried to hang himself with a bungee cord.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

The Mailbox

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when an attractive blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angered, she again stormed back in her house.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out yet again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it shut harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked, "Is something wrong?" "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying "You've Got Mail."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 2.60/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (5)

What's the plumbing co...

What's the plumbing company run by nuns called?
Cisterns of Mercy
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (4)

Jokes Archive

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