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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Monday, Feb the 16th 2009
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The Joy of Christmas Cards |
A woman walks into the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
What denomination? asks the clerk.
Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? said the woman. Well, give me 50
Baptist and 50 Catholic and one Methodist. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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The Wailing Wall |
| A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So,
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old
man.
She asks, "You come every day to the wall. How long have you
done that and what are you praying for?" The old man
replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In
the morning I pray for world peace and then for the
brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come
back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from
the earth."
The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come
here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she
asks.
The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a
wall." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 4.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Answering Machine Message 139 |
If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number...
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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| A driver stops in a small town and asks someone, "Excuse me, can you tell me where this road is going?" The townie says, "It don't go nowhere, it stays right where it is." |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Census... |
Census Taker: 'How many children do you have?'
Woman: 'Four.'
Census Taker: 'May I have their names, please?'
Woman: 'Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.'
Census Taker: 'Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?'
Woman: 'Because we didn't want any Moe.' |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 8.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
A blonde walks into an empty bar on New Year's Eve and asks the bartender if she can use his phone to wish her family back in St. Louis a happy new year.
"Well," starts the bartender, "the rates are pretty high on New Year's. You'll have to leave me a couple of bucks."
"Oh, darn!" she replies, "I don't have a dime! What am I gonna do? This is my first holiday without my family." The bartender gives it about 2 seconds thought and comes back with a proposal.
"Why don't you just come back here behind the bar... I'm sure we can work out a way for you to speak with them."
Eagerly, the blonde runs behind the bar just as the bartender starts to unzip his fly and pull out his penis. "Okay, honey," he says as he gestures towards his growing organ, "just put your mouth up to this!"
Desperately wanting to do as he says, the girl kneels down and does what she's told.
She brings her mouth up to his crotch and quizzically goes "Hello, Mom?" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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A Different Nighttime Prayer
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We’ve been letting our six-year-old go to sleep listening to the radio, and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a good idea. Last night he said his prayers and wound up with: “And God bless Mommy and Daddy and Sister. Amen—and FM!” |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 1.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Your Drivers License Tells It All |
| A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| Yo momma is so stupid she went to the Clippers game for a haircut. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
How do you sink an Australian submarine?
Knock on the window
Did you hear about the Australian shoplifter?
He was found crushed beneath the local supermarket.
An Australian was asked to donate to the church reroofing fund. So he gave some of the lead back
More to come! |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 7.1/10 (9 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters." |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 3.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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