MonkeysOnce upon a time, a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
How do you sink an Australian ...How do you sink an Australian submarine?
Knock on the window
Did you hear about the Australian shoplifter?
He was found crushed beneath the local supermarket.
An Australian was asked to donate to the church reroofing fund. So he gave some of the lead back
More to come!
A Different Nighttime Prayer
Weâ€™ve been letting our six-year-old go to sleep listening to the radio, and Iâ€™m beginning to wonder if itâ€™s a good idea. Last night he said his prayers and wound up with: â€œAnd God bless Mommy and Daddy and Sister. Amenâ€”and FM!â€
A blonde walks into an empty b...A blonde walks into an empty bar on New Year's Eve and asks the bartender if she can use his phone to wish her family back in St. Louis a happy new year.
"Well," starts the bartender, "the rates are pretty high on New Year's. You'll have to leave me a couple of bucks."
"Oh, darn!" she replies, "I don't have a dime! What am I gonna do? This is my first holiday without my family." The bartender gives it about 2 seconds thought and comes back with a proposal.
"Why don't you just come back here behind the bar... I'm sure we can work out a way for you to speak with them."
Eagerly, the blonde runs behind the bar just as the bartender starts to unzip his fly and pull out his penis. "Okay, honey," he says as he gestures towards his growing organ, "just put your mouth up to this!"
Desperately wanting to do as he says, the girl kneels down and does what she's told.
She brings her mouth up to his crotch and quizzically goes "Hello, Mom?"
Louisiana Crazy Law
Guess the Band Name
Census...Census Taker: 'How many children do you have?'
Census Taker: 'May I have their names, please?'
Woman: 'Eenie, Meenie, Minie and George.'
Census Taker: 'Okay, that's fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?'
Woman: 'Because we didn't want any Moe.'
How does a pig go to hospital...How does a pig go to hospital?
A driver stops in a small town...A driver stops in a small town and asks someone, "Excuse me, can you tell me where this road is going?" The townie says, "It don't go nowhere, it stays right where it is."
The Wailing WallA journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So,
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old
She asks, "You come every day to the wall. How long have you
done that and what are you praying for?" The old man
replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In
the morning I pray for world peace and then for the
brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come
back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from
The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come
here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she
The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a
My kids love going to the Web,...My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."