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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, Feb the 18th 2009
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Those Intellectually Deficient Blondes |
| Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: 100. One to make the batter and 99 to crack the shells on the M&Ms. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 3.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Bar Joke |
| A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole whose selling point was that it was on top of the largest skyscraper in town. Another man walks in and asks the bartender for a Jack Daniel's. He downs it, and then takes a running leap out the window. Much to everybody's surprise, he floats back up and climbs through the window back into the bar. The man at the bar is amazed and asks the man how he did it.
"Easy," says the man.
"Outside this window are some very strong wind currents which can carry you back to the window."
"Wow," says the man at the bar.
"I gotta try this."
He takes a running leap out the window and falls to a horrible, bloody, and flat death.
"Geez, Superman," says the bartender.
"You can be a real a jerk when you're drunk." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Wealthy Investors |
A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."
The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.5/10 (8 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| Man to police: I found a dead cat -- someone threw it into my garden! Cop: All right, come back in six weeks and if no one else has claimed it, you can keep it. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 4.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
| 13-year-old dad Alfie Patton has joined the Fathers for Justice campaign group.
Alfie said: "I don't really understand the politics behind Fathers for Justice, but I can't wait to try on my Spider-Man suit."
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 4.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Child Custody |
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem.
The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification.
After a long silence, the man slowly rose from his chair and replied...
"Your Honor, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or the machine?" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 8.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.
A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOODNESS! I left the baby on the bus again!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 8.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Baseball Fans In Heaven
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Two buddies, Bob and Earl, were among the biggest baseball fans in America. Their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter, and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to sixty games a year. They even agreed that whoever died first would try to come back and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven.
One summer night, Bob passed away in his sleep after watching the Yankee victory earlier in the evening. He died happy.
A few nights later, his buddy Earl awoke to the sound of Bob's voice from beyond.
"Bob is that you?" Earl asked."Of course it's me," Bob replied.
"This is unbelievable!" Earl exclaimed. "So tell me, is there baseball in heaven?"
"Well I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, the good news is that yes, there is baseball in heaven, Earl."
"Oh, that is wonderful! So what could possibly be the bad news?"
"You're pitching tomorrow night." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Four Cats |
| Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
Q: I heard that french horn players make for good kissers...
A: ...the problem is where they put their right hand. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 5.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
| The Last One's Law Of Program Generators: A program generator creates programs that are more "buggy" than the program generator. |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.5/10 (12 votes cast) |
A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the game.
That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.
At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?'
Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.'
The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?'
'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.' |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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