Jokes of the day for Friday, 20 February 2009

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 20 February 2009
  • Currently 9.58/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (106)

Yo momma so fat G-d mistook he...

Yo momma so fat G-d mistook her for his bowling ball.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

Condom Galore

Nike Condoms: Just do it.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (3)

Two guys are out in the woods ...

Two guys are out in the woods hiking.

All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.

The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.

The second guy says, "What are you doing? He says, "I figure when the bear gets too close, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear"!

The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun youÂ…
#joke
Joke | Source: Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (3)

An Englishman wanted to become...

An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. "Well" said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain". "That's OK" said the Englishman. "I've always wanted to be Irish and I'm prepared to take the risk".
The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry!!" the doctor said. "Instead of removing half the brain, I've taken the whole brain out". The patient replied, "No worries, mate!!"
#joke #doctor
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (4)

Good News, Bad News

A minister stood in front of his congregation and announced, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is that it’s still in your pockets.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

A little old lady answered a k...

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

"Good morning", said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high powered vacuum cleaners."

"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" And she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!", he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

"Well," she said, "I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."
#joke
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (6)

Find number abc

If 9bc3a + 4b94c = a4c97a find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Answering Machine Message 200


(Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racket:) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence...) Any message?

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (8)

Blind date....

"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.

"Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"

"He was the original owner."

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (10)

Two parrots sitting on a Perch...

Two parrots sitting on a Perch when one says to the other – can you smell fish?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (4)

Heard about the engineer who i...

Heard about the engineer who invented a device for seeing through brick walls? ItÂ’s called a window.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (3)

Buzzzzzz

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?

A space invader.

#joke #short #blonde
  • Currently 6.20/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (30)

Walks Into a Bar... Cheese Sandwich

A man walks into a bar with a cheese sandwich under his arm. A pint of Guinness for me and the cheese sandwich, he says to the barman.
Im sorry, sir, replies the barman, we dont serve food in here.
#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

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