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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, Feb the 22nd 2009
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What do Saddam Hussien and General Custer ... |
| What do Saddam Hussien and General Custer have in common?
They were wondering where all of those Tomahawks were coming from. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 2.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Got Cha |
| On their way home after celebrating their
25th anniversary, she thanks him for a wonderful
evening.
"Oh. it's not over yet", says the husband.
Once in the house, he gives her a little black
velvet box. She opens it in anticipation, "But
what are these two little pills?"
"Aspirin", says he. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
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What Should They Say? |
Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.
They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, "Look! He's moving!"
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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| Schoolboy doing homework: Dad, how do you spell "erbivore"? Dad: Don't you mean "herbivore"? Schoolboy: No -- I've got the "h" down already. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
Two parrots sitting on a Perch when one says to the other â can you smell fish?
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
The real-estate boss got a hot a new secretary, and he decided to put some moves on her. But within a few weeks, he is feeling displeased at the way she is working, not caring, coming to work late, and so on.
Finally, he pulls her aside, and has a little talk with her. "Listen, Baby, we may have gone to bed together a few times, but who said you could start coming in late and slacking off?
The secretary's reply, "My lawyer." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Entrance Exam
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A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An angel (or deva) stops them and asks, "Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?"
The Christian replies, "My ancestors disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I was greedy. However, Jesus died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserve to enter Heaven."
"OK," replies the Angel. "Sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter." The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: "How do you spell God?" It is an easy question, and the Christian passes through the Gate.
Next came the Muslim, who says, "I did not do any especially good or evil things during my life but I was very devout. I prayed to God five times a day. So, I too should enter Heaven." The Angel replies, "It sounds OK to me, but I have to give you a test also. How do you spell Allah?" The Muslim passes the test and enters Heaven.
Finally, it is the Buddhist's turn. He tells the Angel, "I've done all the good things in my life and I followed Buddha's five precepts: I never killed, I donated to charities, I meditated every day, and I never cheated my boss nor my customers." The Angel replies, "That is very good, but there are no exceptions. You must pass the entrance test also in order to get in." Thinking that the test should be simple, the Buddhist happily agrees.
The Angel then asks him: "How do you spell Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva?" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Toughest Time of My Life |
| I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?
A: Sparky! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
Pupil : Please Miss, would you punish someone for something they
didn't do?
Teacher: No, Of course not!!
Pupil : Oh good, Because i haven't done my homework!!! |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.6/10 (17 votes cast) |
What sound does a grape make when an elephant steps on it?
None. It just lets out a little wine. |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 4.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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