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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Monday, Feb the 23rd 2009
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A blonde goes to an office party and wins... |
| A blonde goes to an office party and wins a thermos.
The blonde asks a co-worker, What does it do? He says it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.
The next day the blond goes to work after filling her thermos with ice cream and tea. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Parents |
| What do you call a couple who uses the rhythm method of birth control?
Parents.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Real News Headlines 05 |
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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| "What did you get for your birthday?" "A harmonica -- it's the best present I ever got!" "Why?" "My Dad pays me fifty a week not to play it." |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Sex and athletics.... |
It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.
In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"
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Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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George W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the aftershave. Clinton was quick to stop him saying, "No, thanks. Hillary will smell that and think I’ve been in a whorehouse".
The second barber turned to Bush and said, "How about you?" Bush replied, "Go ahead. Laura doesn’t know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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What Do You Get When ...
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What do you get when you cross a Buddhist and a Druid?
Someone who worships the tree that is not there. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 7.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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New Deputy |
| The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?" |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Q: Why do pigeons fly upside down over the UK?
A: Because the English aren't worth shitting on. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school.
"Hello, this is Dunn Elementary," answers the principal.
"Hi. Jimmy won't be able to come to school all next week,"
replies the voice.
"Well, what seems to be the problem with him?"
"We are all going on a family vacation," says the voice. "I hope
it is alright."
"I guess that would be fine," says the principal. "May I ask who
is calling?"
"Sure. This is my father!"
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."
"Oh man, the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What??! They gave me a Chihuahua??! |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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