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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, Feb the 24th 2009
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Little Johnny... Nickels and Dimes |
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor man takes him aside and says, Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Dont you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickels bigger?
Johnny grins and says, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far Ive made \$20! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Celebrating An Event |
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| "I'm now making my living as a full-time artist." "So have you sold anything lately?" "Yes -- my car, my TV, my watch ..." |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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The Pope and the President... |
During his visit to the United States, the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media.
The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family.
A few minutes later the Pope came out to make his statement. He looked tired, and discouraged, and was practically in tears. Sadly he announced his meeting with the President was a failure.
Incredulous, one reporter asked, "But your Holiness, President Clinton just announced the summit was a great success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed."
Exasperated, the Pope answered, "Yes, but we were talking about the Ten Commandments." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr.Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr.Murphy home. Being a good Samaritan, the man agrees. The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him.
The man walks over and tries to wake Mr.Murphy but Mr.Murphy is groggy and quite drunk. The man helps Mr.Murphy to his feet and Mr.Murphy falls to the floor in a heap. "Jeez," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much. He takes Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car. Once there he leans him against the side of his car while he looks for his keys. Mr.Murphy slides down to the ground. The man finds his keys and manages to get Murphy positioned in the car. He then drives to the address the bartender gave him.
He opens the passenger door and helps Mr.Murphy out and the guy falls to the ground. Cursing softly, now, the man helps him to his feet and practically drags him to the front door. He lets go of Mr.Murphy to knock on the door and the guy falls down again. He helps him to his feet as Mrs.Murphy answers the door.
"Hi, Mrs.Murphy, Your husband had too much to drink tonight so I gave him a ride home."
"That was nice of you," she says, looking around...... "But where's his wheelchair?" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Caught on the Job
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The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him.
Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, “A-a-a-men!” |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 5.6/10 (9 votes cast) |
Q: Mommy, Mommy! I hate tomato juice!
A: Shut up and empty the glass before it clots! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His
mother asks, "So, what did you learn at school today?" Little
Johnny replies, "NOT ENOUGH. They want me to come back tomorrow!" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 7.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he felt crummy. |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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