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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, Feb the 25th 2009
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Knock, Knock... Interrupting Cow |
Knock, Knock.
Whos there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh--MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Confession booth |
| Father Larry is in the confession booth one day when he has to go to the bathroom really bad. He Calls over to the janitor. Jim ,the janitor, comes over and Father Larry explains that he has to go to the bathroom and wants Jim to take over in the confession booth for him. Jim explains that he is not even catholic and does not think it would be appropriate for him to take over, Father Larry insist and explains to Jim that if somebody enters the booth to just look up the punishment in the book on the table. Jim agrees and sits down in the booth.
The first sinner comes in and says 'Father I have sinned, I have cursed at my mother' Jim thumbs through the book and finds 'cursing at mother'. Jim reads the note and tells the sinner to say two hail Maryâs and they are forgiven.
A minute later another sinner comes into the booth and says 'Father I have sinned, I cheated on my test'. Once again Jim looks it up in the book and tells the sinner to say three "our Father's" and they will be forgiven.
Jim starts top enjoy his new job and becomes more relaxed. The next sinner walks in and say 'Father please forgive me, I have sinned.' Jim says 'My son, What have you done' The sinner replies 'I have had anal sex' Jim, feeling very comfortable goes over to the book and looks up anal sex, not finding anything he checks again, but sure enough they is nothing for anal sex. Jim starts to get worried and then he notices little Billy playing out back. Jim calls out to Billy 'hey Billy what does Father Larry give for anal sex?'
Bill shouts back 'Two twinkies and a coke! |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 6.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Scary Collection 27 |
A vampire joke
Why did the vampire go to hospital?
He wanted his ghoulstones removed!
A ghost joke
Where do ghosts live?
In a terrortory!
A ghost joke
What is a ghost proof cycle?
One with no spooks in it!
A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost who stays out all night?
A fresh air freak!
A skeleton joke
What happened to the skeleton who was swallowed by a big fish?
He had a whale of a time!
A ghost joke
What do young ghouls write their homework in?
Exorcise books!
A ghost joke
What happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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| "What's the matter with you, telling everybody that I'm an idiot?" "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret." |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A man and a woman meet on vacation and quickly fall in love. At the trip's end, they decide to open up to each other.
"It's only fair to warn you, Jody," Bill says. "I'm a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep, and breathe golf."
"Well, I'll be honest, too," Jody says. "I'm a hooker."
The man looks crestfallen for a moment, then says, "Are you keeping your wrists straight?" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.3/10 (6 votes cast) |
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Lost in the Service
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One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny standing in the foyer of the church, looking at a large plaque that hung there. After the young man of seven had stood there for some time, the pastor walked up beside him and said quietly,
"Good morning, son."
"Good morning, Pastor," replied the youngster, not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Can I ask you, Sir, what is this for? Why are all these names listed on here?"
"Well, son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together, staring up at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one, Sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 4.8/10 (5 votes cast) |
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The Bosnian Quarterback |
| Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
| Yo momma so dumb she took a spoon to the Super bowl. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 5.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
An Australian was in Ireland. On his way to Belfast, he stopped
at a bar and asked one of the locals, "What's the quickest way
to Belfast?" The Irishmen asked, "Are you walking or driving?"
The Australian replied, "I'm driving!" The Irishman said, "Aye,
that'd be the quickest way!" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.2/10 (9 votes cast) |
Two physicians board a flight out of Seattle. One sits in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an attorney sits in the seat by the aisle. The lawyer kicks off his shoes, wiggle his toes, and starts to settle in, when the physician in the window seat says, "I think I'll get up and get a coke."
"No problem," says the attorney, "I'm by the aisle. I'll get it for you."
While he's gone, one of the physicians picks up the attorney's shoe and spits in it. When he returns with the coke, the other physician says, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."
Again, the attorney obligingly fetches the drink. While he's gone, the other physician picks up the other shoe and spits in it.
The lawyer comes back and they all sit back and enjoy the flight. As the plane is landing, however, the attorney slips his feet into his shoes and realizes immediately what has happened.
"How long must this go on?" he asks the physicians. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?" |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 6.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
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