Jokes of the day for Thursday, 05 March 2009

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 05 March 2009
  • Currently 9.45/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (97)

Q: How do you...

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave at her.
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

There was once a young man who...

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation.
#joke
Joke | Source: Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.75/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (4)

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me f...

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The day - Used to be - Australian Joke of the day - site changed purpose and no longer serves jokes
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (9)

Confession

A man enters the confessional and says 'Bless me father for I have sinned; it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Pagan Wives

Q. Why do Pagan girls make the best wives?
A. She'll always worship the ground you walk on.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (2)

A man went to his doctor to ha...

A man went to his doctor to have his penis examined because it was hurting. After a thorough examination, the doctor told the patient: "I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Tell me the good news first," replied the patient.

"The good news," said the doctor, "is that we won't have to cut it off."

"Thank God," replied the patient. "Then what's the bad news?"

"It'll fall off by itself in a few days" replied the doctor.
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 5.75/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (12)

PALINDROME

Make the palindrome of the following letters: A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A, C, C, E, E, E, E, F, F, L, L, M, M, N, N, O, O, O, O, O, O, O, O, R, R, R, R, R, R, T, T, W, W, Y, Y, Y, Y
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Knock Knock Collection 154


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Robert!
Robert who?
Roberts and burglars will rob you blind!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Robin!
Robin who?
Robin your house!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rocky!
Rocky who?
Rocky bye baby on the tree top...!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Roland!
Roland who?
Roland Stone gathers no moss!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Rome!
Rome who?
Rome is where the heart is!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (5)

Florida Minister...

A minister in Florida lamented that it was difficult to get his message across to his local congregation:

"It's so beautiful here in the winter," he said, "that heaven doesn't interest them that much."

"And it's so hot here in the summer that hell doesn't really scare them either."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.42/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (12)

Did you hear about the skeleto...

Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe?
He ordered a cup of coffee and a mop.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (2)

Wife: I thought you weren't go...

Wife: I thought you weren't going to smoke anymore. Husband: I'm not. Wife: But you still smoke as much as ever! Husband: Well, that's not more, is it?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

The complaint

The complaint:

Ms.B.Haven;

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

The response:

Dear Penis;

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

You must be stimulated in order to start working.

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

You will retire well before you are 65.

You are unable to work double shifts.

You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,

The Management

Editted by Calamjo and Curtis

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (3)

The Mystery of Childbirth

A boy is writing a paper on childbirth and asks his parents, How was I born?
His mother awkwardly answers, The stork brought you.
Oh, says the boy. Well, how were you and Daddy born?
Oh, the stork brought us, too, and Grandpa and Grandma.
The boy begins his paper, This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasnt been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations.
#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (4)

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