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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 10 March 2009
  • Currently 9.48/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (86)

A man called his mother in Flo...

A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The man said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
#joke
  • Currently 6.20/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (5)

Q: What do bl...

Q: What do blondes and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?


A: Take away the breasts and the legs, and all you have left is a dirty box.
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

The Barber

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Elisha and Two She-Bears

A minister was talking to a children's Sunday school class about the Old Testament story of the children who mocked Elisha on his journey to Bethel. For once, he had everyone's attention, as he described how the youngsters taunted the poor old prophet and how they were punished: Two she-bears came out of the wild and ate 42 of them."And now, children," said the pastor, wondering whether he had gotten his point across, “what does this story show us?”
A little girl in the front raised her hand and said, "It shows how many children two she-bears can hold."

#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.48/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (25)

A couple was dressed and ready...

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, Covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.

They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the taxi driver that Her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car...
#joke
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Nervous mountain climber to hi...

Nervous mountain climber to his guide: This rock face we're climbing looks very dangerous. Do people often fall off it? Guide: No, once is generally all it takes.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (5)

What a winning combination?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Knock Knock Collection 126


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Max!
Max who?
Max no difference. Open the door!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Maxine!
Maxine who?
Maxine the wave dude!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Maxwell!
Maxwell who?
Maxwell call later if your not going to answer!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
May!
May who?
Maybe its a friend at the door!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Maya!
Maya who?
Maya best friend?

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

Mozart Beyond the Grave

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, Ah, yes, thats Mozarts Ninth Symphony, being played backwards. He listened a while longer, and said, Theres the Eighth Symphony, and its backwards, too. Most puzzling. So the magistrate kept listening; Theres the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth... Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, My fellow citizens, theres nothing to worry about. Its just Mozart decomposing.
#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Behind the wheel...

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the driver, he was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn, and yelled, PULLOVER!"

"NO," the woman yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

#joke
  • Currently 6.33/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (15)

Did you hear about the...

Did you hear about the cleaning lady who won the lottery?
You couldn't see her for dust
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (3)

Why did the blonde throw breadcrumbs into the toilet?

Q: Why did the blonde throw breadcrumbs into the toilet?

A: To feed the "toilet duck".

Note: Toilet Duck is a brand of cleanser.

#joke #short #blonde
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (6)

What is the STRONGEST letter i...

What is the STRONGEST letter in the alphabet?

PÂ… Even Superman CanÂ’t Hold It!!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (6)

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