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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Saturday, Mar the 14th 2009
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| up, comedians, funny videos, dane cook, mike birbiglia, eugene mirman, demetri martin, jeff dunham, katt williams, daily joke, joke of the day, funny jokes, yo mama, jokes, redneck, blond, george bush, bush, lawyer, favorite, list, animal, college, dumb |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 3.8/10 (9 votes cast) |
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Bob in Accounting |
| The company president called the chief security guard into his office.
"Chuck, we've received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don't belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop."
Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, "I'm sorry, Sir. I won't' do it again."
The company president said, "I'm sure Ms. Jones will be happy to hear that." Chuck's face lit up.
"Ms Jones?!!!! I was afraid that Bob in Accounting was complaining!!!!" |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Yo Mama So Fat |
| yo mama so fat she went into the ocean rose ita 150 ft |
Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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| Old man to young boy: Can you come closer? I'm a little deaf and can't hear what you're saying from over there. Boy: I'm not talking to you -- I'm chewing gum! |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Wading across the river... |
Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River looking across at the Promised Land.
The Archangel Michael was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River."
As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he assured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally, according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water."
The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River.
Finally, George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking of all his sins that were coming back to haunt him. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever see the other side. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he began to emerge on the river's bank.
As he ascended to the other side, he looked behind him to see which one of the other brave souls was going next. A shock of surprise registered on his face, as he saw Al Gore almost in the middle of the river, and the water was only up to his ankles.
He turned to Michael and exclaimed, "I know Al Gore. Al Gore is a friend of mine, and he has sinned much, much more than that!"
Before the Archangel Michael could reply, Al Gore shouted back, "I'm standing on Clinton's shoulders!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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A boy in Australia was raised in the outback by his father. He'd just turned 18 and had yet to ever see a woman in his life. His father decided that it was time that his boy went to the big city to meet some women.
The two got into the city and the boy was dumbfounded by the plethora of women. His father told him to go up to their hotel room and he would have his "birthday present" sent up. The boy was waiting in the room when the prostitute made her entrance.
She started to undress and the boy suddenly realized what had been happening to his body in the last five years. So, he went over and opened the window and started to throw things outside. I mean everything. He started with the lamp, then threw out the bed sheets, then the desk, then the pillows, then the mattress, and then the TV. He was starting to move the bed frame over to the window when the prostitute asks what he's doing.
"If this is anything like it is with the kangaroos, then we're gonna need a lot of room." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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If Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder ...
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“If absence makes the heart grow fonder,” said a minister, “a lot of folks must really love our church.” |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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The New Hen |
| Harry did like he always did every evening. He kissed his wife, crawled into bed and went to sleep. All of a sudden, he woke up and saw an elderly man dressed in a robe standing in front of his bed. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Q: What's the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?
A: There's a chance you can negotiate with a terrorist. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how
you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?"
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A fruit farmer hired two new workers for his fields, but before he sent them out for the day's work, he told them he had just one rule: don't steal any fruit. The two agreed to obey the rule.
After the day was over, the two workers came in to report to the farmer. He asked them if they had stolen any fruit, and immediately their conscience forced them to tell the truth.
"Yes, we did. We ate some when we got hungry," they said.
The farmer replied, "Ok, here is your punishment. I want each of you to go pick ten of your favorite fruit and come back to me."
The men couldn't believe their ears. This seemed more like a reward than a punishment!
After fifteen minutes, the first thief came back with ten cherries. The farmer promptly told him that as part of his punishment, he would have to stuff each cherry up his nose. The thief was upset about this, but he knew he had done wrong, so he slowly began to push the cherries up his nose one by one.
As he was working on the third cherry, he began to laugh hysterically. The farmer asked him, "What's so funny?"
The thief replied, "The other guy is out there picking watermelons!" |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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