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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Friday, Mar the 20th 2009
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Arm Troubles |
| A man went to visit his doctor. Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please? the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the mans sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. Hello, Doctort; says the arm. Could you lend me twenty bucks please? Im desperate!
Aha! says the doctor.
I see the problem. Your arm is broke! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Top Ten Hillary Clinton Campaign Slogans |
| 10. "Read My Lips -- No New Interns"
9. "Reward Me For Putting Up With Bill's Crap For So Long"
8. "Isn't It Time You Were Disappointed By A Different
Clinton?"
7. "Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask How You
Can Illegally
Contribute To My Campaign"
6. "Vote For Me Or My Husband Will Nail Your Wife"
5. "You Give Me A Vote, I'll Get Vernon Jordan To Give You A
Job"
4. "Still Not Indicted As Of Early '99!"
3. "From Perjury To Albany"
2. "Building A Bridge To The 21st Century, And Pushing My
Husband Over
It"
1. "Oh Lord, Please Don't Make Me Go Back To Arkansas!" |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
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School Collection 07 |
A history joke
What was King Arthur's favourite game?
Knights and crosses!
A history joke
Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?
At the bottom!
A history joke
Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!
A history joke
Wish I had been born 1000 years ago!
Why is that?
Just think of all the history that I wouldn't have to learn!
A history joke
Did the Native Americans hunt bear!
Not in the winter!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 4.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| A girl asks her boyfriend, "Do you think I'm vain?" "Of course not," he says, "why do you ask?" "Well," she says, "girls as beautiful as me usually are." |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Wrong number... |
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.
"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.
"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. But I HAVE got a wife and eleven children."
"Is that a record?" she inquired.
"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get to setting one." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.
He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 5.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
| A CEO of a large company is seeking advice on whether or not to downsize his company. He turns to his eternally optimistic secretary and asks, "Is this glass half full or half empty?" Well you know me, she replies, "be thankful for what you have. It's half full!" He then turns to his eternally pessimistic accountant. "Well, is it half full, or half empty?" He repeats. "Sir, you know my stance. There can always be more... It's half empty to me." He then turns to the re-engineering consultant sitting next to him. "Well, you can see my dilemma. What do you think?" The consultant looks at the half full glass of water, and then looks up at the CEO. "Well, looks like you've got more glass there than you need." |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (5 votes cast) |
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St. Peter and the Blonde
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Some ecclesiastical gentlemen -- a cardinal, a couple of bishops and some others -- were waiting outside the Pearly Gates for St. Peter to open up.
He finally arrived, but just they were about to enter heaven St. Peter asked them to wait a moment and let a new arrival through first.
A sweet young thing in a mini-skirt arrived and was ushered through.The cardinal was a bit upset about this and demanded an explanation from St. Peter. After all, they had been waiting outside for quite some time and were pillars of the church. How could a girl in a mini-skirt deserve better treatment?
St. Peter smiled and told him: "While she was alive, that young lady drove a little yellow sports car. She regularly jumped red lights, overtook on blind corners, and generally scared the devil out of more people than all of you combined." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
Q: How do you execute an Australian kiss?
A: Just like you would a French kiss, only down under. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 7.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game.
Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I've got Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and all the greatest players up here."
"Yes", laughed the devil, "but I have all the umpires!" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (7 votes cast) |
A warthog hits this lady and the husband calls 911.
The operator asks, "Where are you at"?
The husband replies, "I'm on Eucolipstic Road."
The operator asks, "Can you spell that for me?"
"Well... I'll just drag her over to Oak so you can you pick her up there?" |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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