| The tech asked her if she was 'running it under Windows.' The woman then responded, 'No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a
good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under
a window, and his is working fine.'
**********************************************************************
Tech Support: 'How much free space do you have on your hard drive?'
Customer: 'Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet,
and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?'
**********************************************************************
Tech Support: 'Ok Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: 'I don't have a 'P'.'
Tech Support: 'On your keyboard, Bob.'
Customer: 'What do you mean?'
Tech Support: ''P' on your keyboard, Bob.'
Customer: 'I'm not going to do that!'
******************************************************************
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: 'I'd like a mouse pad, please.'
Salesperson: 'Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.'
Customer: 'But will they be compatible with my computer?'
**********************************************************************
I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the
document back to the sender when I was finished with it,
because he needed to keep it.
**********************************************************************
Customer: 'Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?'
**********************************************************************
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that
go something like this:
Customer: 'Hi. Is this the Internet?'
*********************************************************************
Some people pay for their online services with checks made
payable to 'The Internet.'
**********************************************************************
Customer: 'So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?'
Tech Support: 'Yeah.'
Customer: 'And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?
Tech Support: 'Uhh...uh...uh...yeah.'
**********************************************************************
Tech Support: 'All right...now double-click on the File Manager Icon.'
Customer: 'That's why I hate this Windows...because of the icons. I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons.'
Tech Support: 'Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe
it was meant to-'
Customer: 'I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons.'
Tech Support: 'Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?'
Customer: [click]
**********************************************************************
Customer: 'My computer crashed!'
Tech Support: 'It crashed?'
Customer: 'Yeah, it won't let me play my game.'
Tech Support: 'All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot.'
Customer: 'No, it didn't crash-it crashed.'
Tech Support: 'Huh?'
Customer: 'I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it doesn't work.'
(Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship.)
Tech Support: 'Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.''
Customer: [pause] 'Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?' |
