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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, Apr the 5th 2009
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Elephants and Marshmallows |
Q: Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: Because he didnt want to fall into the hot chocolate. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Innuendo |
| What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
An Italian suppository. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 4.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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A Collection Of Insults |
A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.
The two put together have an IQ over 150.
The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead.
There she sits, Finite State Automaton at its best.
There's nothing wrong with you that couldn't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet. -- Woody Allen
They must have done a clean boot on him.
Thick as a brick / whale omelette.
Thick as pig dung and twice as smelly.
Thinks "Private Enterprise" means owning a personal starship.
Thinks a permutation is a medical procedure.
Thinks at 5 baud.
Thinks cellular phones are carbon-based life forms.
Thinks E=MC^2 is a rap star.
Thinks everyone else is entitled to his opinion, like it or not.
thinks in lower case and types accordingly
Thinks like a boar hog looks at a wristwatch.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 3.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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| Dad: Junior, how can you say it was your little brother who broke that window? Son: Well, Dad, it wouldn't have broken if he hadn't ducked when I threw a rock at him. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Why didn't the haunted house like the rain?
Because it dampened its spirits
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 4.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Two men were fishing... |
Two men were fishing. They found a bottle floating on the water, retrieved it, rubbed it, and a genie popped out.
"I'll grant each of you one wish," said the genie.
The first man wished for a new fishing boat, all decked out, complete with outboard, the whole nine yards. Poof! New boat!
The second man wished for the lake to be turned into beer. Poof! The lake is now made of beer.
"You dummy!" exclaimed the first man. "Now we'll have to pee in the boat!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent on seeing the Pope. There he stood, in a big long line with a rather expensive suit on, hoping the Pope would notice how smart he was and perhaps talk a few words with him.
As the Pope made his way slowly down the line, he walked right past the American, hardly even noticing him.
The Pope then stopped next to a low-life sot, leaned over and whispered something in the sot's ear, and made his way on again.
This really angered the American. After speaking with the drunkard, the American agreed to pay \$1000 dollars to exchange clothing, in the hope that the Pope would speak to him the next day.
The next morning the American stood in the line, waiting to see the Pope and hopefully exchange a few words. The Pope was making his way slowly up to the American. When he finally reached him, he leaned over to the American and spoke softly into his ear..
"I thought I told you yesterday to get the f**k out of here." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
| A little boy walks up to the preacher after church one day and says, "Preacher, when I grow up and get a job, I am going to give you a lot of money." The preacher says, "Why do you want to do that?" The boy replies, " Because my Daddy said that you are the poorest preacher he has ever heard." |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (5 votes cast) |
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First Time in Church
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Mrs. Harrison took her three-year-old daughter, Jenny, to church for the first time.
After arriving, the church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles.There was silence in the entire sanctuary until Jenny's voice was suddenly heard, loudly singing: "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you..."
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Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 4.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Baby Bottle |
| A new shift manager was being shown around the Latex factory where he had just been hired. The plant manufactures various latex products, and has a reputation for using cutting edge technology in its manufacturing process. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate.
"Terrible!" answered the roommate. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."
"Wow! That's a very expensive car! What's so bad about that?"
"He was the original owner." |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus. |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (5 votes cast) |
What do you get when you play a country song backwards?
You get your house back, tractor back, wife back, and dog back |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 6.9/10 (8 votes cast) |
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Travel photos
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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