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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Saturday, Apr the 11th 2009
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Lucky Driver |
A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won \$5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
What are you going to do with the prize money? the officer asks.
The man responds, I guess Ill go to driving school and get my license.
His wife says, Officer, dont listen to him. Hes a smart aleck when hes drunk.
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, I knew we wouldnt get far in this stolen car.
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, Are we over the border yet? |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 2.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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How do you stop a Lawyer from Drowning? |
| Q. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A. Shoot him before he hits the water. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Naming Your Child |
There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was her brother.
When the mother came out of her coma to find she had given birth and that her brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he wasn't a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd or stupid.
When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.
He said, "The first one was a girl."
The mother: "What did you name her?!?"
Brother: "Denise!"
The Mom: "Oh, wow, that's not bad! What about the second one?"
Brother: "The second one was a boy."
The Mom: "Oh, and what did you name him?"
Brother: "Denephew."
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| Father: Come here, little man. I'll teach you to eat up your sister's whole birthday cake. Son: That's all right, Dad. I already know how. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
| A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
"I'm OK but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say?" asked the nurse.
"Oops!"
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| Two elderly men Sam and Arthur, avid bridge players get some bad news Arthur is dying. Sam says to Arthur, please Arthur when you get to heaven somehow send me a message and let me know if there's any bridge up there. Arthur says he'll try. Arthur passes away and a week goes by, not a word. Then suddenly Sam gets the call. "Sam" Arthur says, there's good news and bad news. The good news is there's a duplicate on Tuesday, the bad news is you're playing. |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Church Bulletin Bloopers
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This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 4.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
Q: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like grandpa.
A: Well, just push him aside and eat your beans. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 4.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.4/10 (11 votes cast) |
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A Snailer! |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Travel photos
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