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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, Apr the 26th 2009
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Honest Bumper Stickers |
-- All men are idiots, and I married their king.
-- Your kid may be an honors student, but youre still an idiot.
-- I brake for no apparent reason.
-- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
-- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
-- I didnt fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
-- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
-- Reality is a crutch for people who cant handle drugs.
-- I dont suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off NOW.
-- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-- Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else.
-- Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.
-- Consciousness cuts into my napping.
-- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
-- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who cant.
-- Keep honking. Im reloading. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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drowning blonde |
| How do you get a blonde to drown?
Put a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Answering Machine Message 137 |
Hi, you've reached Meredith's room. I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but my waveform has temporarily collapsed, so leave a message, and I'll call you when I've pulled myself together.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| Angry diner: Waiter! Why is there a dead fly in my soup? Waiter: Well, the hot water usually kills them, sir. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Fat free.... |
I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat-Free French Fries. I decided to give them a try.
I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer, which was dripping with fat. He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order.
"Just a minute!" I said. "Those aren't fat-free."
"Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes . . . the fat is free!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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Golf Instruction
A husband and wife love to play golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first, After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way to hard!"
"Well, what should I do?", asks the man.
"Hold the club gently." the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wifes breast."
Taking the advice, he takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson. The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, your gripping the way to hard."
"What can I do?" asks the wife.
"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husbands penis."
The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice. takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway about 15 feet.
"That was great," the pro say. "Now take the club out of your mouth..." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
| A Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key. |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Drunken Confession
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A drunken man staggered in to a Catholic church and sat down in a confession box, saying nothing.
The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the man said nothing.
The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally, the drunk replied, "No use knockin', mate, there's no paper in this one either." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Q: How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but 10 of his friends are there to tell him how good he looks doing it. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 4.9/10 (7 votes cast) |
| Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left. |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Travel photos
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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