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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, Apr the 28th 2009
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A woman went to her priest with a problem... |
| A woman went to her priest with a problem. Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, Hi, were prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?
Thats terrible! exclaimed the priest. But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship.
The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priests house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, Hi, were prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Yo Mama so Stupid |
| Yo Mama's so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo Mama's so stupid she clicked on an Ad Banner!
Yo Mama's so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo Mama's so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo Mama's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo Mama's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo Mama's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Numbers Equal Zero |
Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero.
Proof: Suppose that a=b. Then
a = b
a^2 = ab
a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
a + b = b
a = 0
Furthermore if a + b = b, and a = b, then b + b = b, and 2b = b, which mean that 2 = 1.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| Diner: How do you explain this twig I found in my rice? Waiter: It stands to reason, sir. Our restaurant has branches everywhere. |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
| What did the gangster's son say to his father when he failed an exam?
"Dad, they questioned me for three hours but I told them nothing."
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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New secretary... |
A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither, He's bald." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word 'toilet' during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- The farm was used to produce produce.
- The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
- We must polish the Polish furniture.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
- A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
- When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
- I did not object to the object.
- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
- They were too close to the door to close it.
- The buck does funny things when does are present.
- A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
- To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
- The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
- After a number of injections my jaw got number.
- Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
- How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
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Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Big Mouth!
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A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. "I'll have a pound of that salmon," he said.
"That's not salmon," the clerk said. "It's ham."
"Mister," the customer snapped, "in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 5.5/10 (13 votes cast) |
| Yo momma so fat she's got her own zip code. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 1.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
| Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left. |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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