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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Friday, May the 1st 2009
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Job Fair |
| A jock and a geek applying for the same job.
The boss said, Boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job.
So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who the boss chose. Well, he said, Both of you got the same score except Im going to choose the geek.
The jock complained, Dont you think thats prejudice or something?
Well, the boss said, Let me tell you what happened. Both of your papers were right all the way through until the last question came up, and the geek answered I dont know, and then when I looked at your paper, you answered, Me either. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Squirrel Love |
| A little boy squirrel and a little girl squirrel were chattering and playing around when up comes a fox. The girl squirrel dashed up a tree, but the boy squirrel stayed on the ground.
"That's strange," said the fox. "Usually squirrels are afraid of me and run to the nearest tree."
"Listen, bud," replied the boy squirrel. "Did you ever try to climb a tree when you were in the process of making love?" |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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You Might Be A Redneck If 56 |
You might be a reneck if...
The neighborhood dogs are afraid to come around your house because the fowl are big enough to hurt them.
You have ever had to climb up on the roof of an out building to get down any fowl that was frozen to the roof.
You have ever worried more about the outbuildings freezing than your vehicles.
You have ever had deer graze in your front yard close enough to the house that you could throw a rock and hit them.
You have ever dug up your driveway to fix your water line.
You have ever had to get up quickly in the morning in order to let the goat out before she dropped raisins on the kitchen floor.
Your wife is the only one that the geese will allow into the laundry room.
Any of your children learned to make very realistic animal noises before they learned to talk.
You have to stop a leak in your flatbottom boat with gum and chewing tobacco.
You have to pay your hair care professional in weekly installments of \$3.00.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| Furious diner: Waiter! I found a cockroach in my meal! Call the manager in here! Waiter: That's no use, sir. He's scared of them, too! |
Permalink | Source : Click The City - Philippine's Leading Lifestyle and Entertainment Guide.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Why did the jazz musician like the wooden board?
Because it had a nice groove to it.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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12 shots.... |
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots, and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had."
The bartender asks, "What do you have?"
The guy answers, "75 cents." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife about it, she simply told him, "It's my turn."
"What do you mean, your turn?!" yelled the husband.
"In bed," she explained, "you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it's my turn." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,' My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's class teacher." |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Little Angel?
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Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.
Johnny asked his mom, “Where’d he come from?”
“He came from heaven, Johnny.”
“Wow! I can see why they threw him out!”
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
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Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 5.2/10 (16 votes cast) |
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Things My Mother Taught Me.. |
| My Mother taught me LOGIC... |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Q: Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
A: Tiger has a better driver. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework and cook their lunch.
However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.
Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: "hello - is anyone there. Can anyone hear me".
A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:
" Australia will win the Rugby World Cup"
"Thank god" said Snow White "at least Dopey's still alive"
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.7/10 (7 votes cast) |
A secretary was leaving the office one Friday evening when she encountered Mr. Jones, the Human Resources manager, standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said Mr. Jones, "this is important, and my secretary has already left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the secretary. She turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said Mr. Jones as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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