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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, May the 10th 2009
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Eye of Gratitude |
| In the prime of her career, a world famous
painter started to lose her eyesight. Fearful
that she might lose her life as a painter, she
went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and
therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter
was so grateful that she decided to show her
gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.
Part of her work included painting a gigantic
eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work, she held a
press conference to unveil her latest work of
art -- the doctor's office.
During the press conference, one reporter
noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor,
"What was your first reaction upon seeing your
newly painted office, especially that large eye
on the wall?"
The eye doctor responded, "I said to myself,
'Thank God I'm not a proctologist.' |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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What do you want for Christmas? |
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised when a young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap. Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, "What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother," said the young lady.
"Something for your mother? Well, that's very thoughtful of you,'' smiled Santa. "What do you want me to bring her? "
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Corporate Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you \$800 to drop that towel that you have on."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her \$800 and leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the \$800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 4.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
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| An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. Ma'am, did you know you were speeding? the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, What did he say? He said you were speeding! the old man yelled. The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?" The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?" The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!" The woman then gave the officer her license. I see you are from Arkansas, the patrolman said. "I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen." The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did he say?" The old man replied, "He said he knows you!" |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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The Children of Israel
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"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."
"What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
"Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right.""And the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"
"Er, right."
"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
"What were all the grown-ups doing?" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
| An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?" |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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When their car broke down a Jew, an Indian and an Australian knocked on a farmer's door to ask for accommodation for the night.
"I only have room for two, one of you will have to sleep in the barn," said the farmer.
"Alright, I will," said the Jew.
But 5 minutes later there was a knock at the door.
"There's a pig in the barn, I can't sleep in there," said the Jew.
"Okay, I'll go," said the Indian. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door.
"There is an un-sacred cow in the barn," he said.
"No worries mate, I'll go," said the Australian. Five minutes later there was yet another knock at the door.
It was the pig and cow!!! |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.5/10 (4 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
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Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.9/10 (9 votes cast) |
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