A Crazy Person in the WoodsQ: How does a crazy person travel through the woods?
A: They take the psycho path.
Deep Thought: Ambition is a po...Deep Thought: Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate...A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia.
Upon arriving in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer,
"What is your business in Australia?"
"I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply.
The customs officer then asked,
"Do you have a conviction record?"
Confused, the Kiwi then replied,
"I didn't think you still needed one."
Kidding Me...Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
An executive was attempting to...An executive was attempting to do some menial office work himself. His assistant found him standing in front of the office shredder holding a piece of paper with a puzzled look on his face.
"Can I help you?" the assistant asked.
"I'm having trouble, I'll have to admit," replied the executive.
"Here let me show you." said the assistant, and he took the piece of paper, placed it in the feed chute and pressed the red 'ON' button. The shredder hummed and sucked in the piece of paper.
"Wow! I'm embarrassed. That's pretty easy," the executive exclaimed. "Oh, and I just need one copy."
Wife: Where do you want to go ...Wife: Where do you want to go on holiday this year?
Husband: Somewhere I've never been before.
Wife: How about the Kitchen?
Find the right combination
The four stages of life....1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Claus
4. You look like Santa Claus
I married Mr Right. . .
I married Mr Right. . .
Poor kidsTwo poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool.
When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: "Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?"
The other answered: "Yeah! It's probably because they have toys to play with!"
My kids love going to the...My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
Belly Buttons Explained
Q: How do babies get their belly buttons?
A: When God finishes making little babies, He lines them all up in a row. Then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with His finger and says, â€œYouâ€™re doneâ€¦youâ€™re doneâ€¦youâ€™re doneâ€¦â€