|
Jokes of the day
|
|
Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
|
|
Bookmark jokes of the day:
|
Use this button to add jokes of the day to favourites, del, digg, myspace. Make jokes just click away wherever you are.
|
|
Missed jokes of the day yesterday?
|
|
Visit Jokes of the day archive
- all the Jokes of the day you have missed. All jokes since Jokes of the day site is running.
|
|
Note:
|
All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
Jokes feed
|
|
Jokes of the day for Sunday, May the 17th 2009
|
|
Dane Cook: Car Accident |
| Im a little sore cause a couple of days back I got into a car accident -- not my fault. Even if its not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like its your fault. Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80?! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
|
What type of prize did you win? |
| A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"
The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!"
The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!"
By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as one of our prizes."
Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!"
The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A BAGEL." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
|
Humor About Senior Citizens |
OLD KIDS never die, they just grow up
OLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils
OLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherent
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appeal
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefs
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, their computers have Fatal Errors
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just check out
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just get re-shelved
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references
OLD LIGHT BULBS never die, they just blink out
OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under
OLD LINGUISTS never die, they just rearrange their deep structures
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappear
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just float away
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just make a big production of it
|
Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 6.8/10 (5 votes cast) |
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
|
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
Change your course |
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: Change your course 10 degree east. The light signals back: Change yours, 10 degrees west. Angry, the captain sends: Im a navy captain! Change your course, sir! Im a seaman, second class, comes the reply. Change your course, sir. Now the captain is furious. Im a battleship! Im not changing course! There is one last reply. Im a lighthouse. Your call. |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
A blonde was driving home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a bad hail storm. The hailstones were the size of golf balls. Her car was dented beyond description.
The next day, she took it to a repair shop. Noticing that she was blonde, the technician decided to have some fun. He told her to take the car home and blow real hard into the tailpipe and the dents would pop out.
When she got home, she started blowing into the tailpipe as she was instructed. At that moment, her blonde girlfriend drove by and saw her puffing on the tailpipe.
Thinking the worst, the friend was startled and said, "What are you doing?"
She said that the man at the body shop told her to blow into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.
Her girlfriend said, "Well, duhhhhhh! You need to roll up the windows first!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 6.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
| This blond came into the airport to buy a ticket to Porta Viarte. When asked if she wanted a coach or first class she said, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going to Porta Viarte on vacation." Again the agent asked, "will this be first class?" The blond answered, "no, make it coach." So the ticket was processed for coach. The blond went to the gate, handed the agent her ticket and got on the plane, but she went to the first class section. The stewardess told her she would have to move to the back of the plane because her ticket was for coach. The blond said, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going on vacation to Porta Viarte, I will go first class." So the stewardess asked another stewardess to see what she could do. Same thing happened. So they got the co-captain to help, same thing happened. So they asked the captain to help. The captain looked at the blonde and smiled, bent over and said something in her ear. The blond jumped up, hurried to the back section and sat down. Now in amazement, the crew wanted to know what the captain said to her. The captain just smiled at them and said, I told her "the first class doesn't go to Porta Viarte." |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
|
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
Getting Rid of the Bats
|
Three pastors were having lunch in a diner.
One said, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away."Another said, "Me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."
The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since!" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
|
Camel Questions |
| A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom, why have I got these huge three toed feet?" |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
Q: What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?
A: Silicon Valley. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
|
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 7.1/10 (10 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
|
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.9/10 (9 votes cast) |
|
|
|
Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
|
|
Webmaster resurces
|
|
On jokes of the day webmaster resurces page please find details
related to link exchange or other forms of cooperation with Jokes of the day
|
|
Jokes resources
|
|
Resources - web sites jokes are coming from, other joke related sites. Jokes of the day partners.
|
|
Travel photos
|
|
Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
|
|
|
