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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, May the 28th 2009
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Dirtiest Thing on Television |
Q: What is the dirtiest thing ever said on television?
A: Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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AOL Support Call |
| AOL: America Online, this is Sue speaking.
Caller: Hi, I have some questions about American Online
before I join.
AOL: Okay, ma'am, what's your question?
Caller: Well, some of my friends who have AOL say they get
something called "cybersex". Does this cost extra?
AOL: :::quiet laugh in the background::: Well ma'am... I
don't know how to explain this, but cybersex is not part of
America Online.
Caller: Oh really? My friends said they got it from AOL.
AOL: Well it's something members typically do when they go
to a chat room.
Caller: Hmmmm . . . I don't understand, what is cybersex??
AOL: I'm sorry, I really don't know how to explain it.
Caller: Hmmm . . . well, have you ever had cybersex?
AOL: Ma'am, I don't think that's an appropriate question to
be asking me. Is there anything else you need?
Caller: Sorry, like I said I don't even know what it is.
AOL: That's okay ma'am, anything else?
Caller: Yes, I have one more question.
AOL: Go ahead . . .
Caller: What are you wearing?
AOL: |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.3/10 (6 votes cast) |
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Car Crash |
| I was recently on vacation in Main when I observed a pretty bad car crash between two police partol cars. The officers were standing around, looking at the damage and they both had a confused look on their faces. I figured that they were trying to figure out what to do because who were they supposed to call, the police? |
Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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What's the difference between a tiger and a lion?
A tiger has the mane part missing.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Diaper change... |
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby...!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 1.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
A Frenchman who was leaving his Parisian home for a few weeks confided in his friend, Pierre, "I always hate leaving my wife for so long like this. When I'm away, I just don't know what she is doing. There's always the doubt, always the doubt.
Pierre said, "Charles, I'll tell you what. Because we're such close friends, I'll keep an eye on her every evening that you're gone."
"You would do that for me, Pierre?" Charles said, relieved. "Oh thank you so very much. I know I really should trust my wife. But it's just that there's always the doubt, always the doubt."
So Charles went off on his business trip and returned to Paris three weeks later. The two men met again.
"Charles, I'm afraid I have bad news for you," Pierre said.
"Well?"
"The very first night you were gone, I watched this man go to your house. Your wife opened the door naked and kissed and hugged him. He fondled her breasts. He rubbed her crotch. Then they closed the door to go upstairs. Never daunted, I climbed up the tree outside your house and watched them in the bedroom.
"And so...?" inquired Charles.
"Well, first they took off all their clothes. Incidentally, my dear friend, your wife has a lovely body."
"She does indeed," said Charles thoughtfully. "What happened then?"
"Then?" Pierre shook his head sorrowfully. "Then is when they turned out the light. I could see nothing. I could learn nothing more."
Charles sighed a deep sigh. "So you see how it is, my friend? Always the doubt, always the doubt." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 5.3/10 (10 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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| Paybacks are a ... A guy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, making out. As things really started getting hot, the girl stopped the guy and said, I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge \$20 for sex. The guy reluctantly paid her, and they went on with their business. After they finished, the guy lit up a cigarette, sat back in the driver's seat and stared out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is \$25." |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Wealthy Palestine
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Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Smart Alex |
| Alex was pulled over for speeding down the highway; the officer came to the drivers window and said, "Sir, may I see your drivers license
and registration?" Alex said, "Well officer I don't have a license, it was taken away for a DUI." |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 2.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
Q: What do you say to a girl with no legs, no arms, and no head?
A: Nice boobs. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They
rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are
three, I will allow one wish each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, "I want the first wish. I want to be
in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff. and he was
gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be In
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails." Pfufffff. and
he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back in the office after
lunch at 12.35pm ."
MORAL OF THE STORY IS: "ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (5 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
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Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (8 votes cast) |
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Travel photos
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