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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, Jun the 25th 2009
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School in the Summertime |
| Youre like school in the summertime -- no class. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Blonde in a Lightning Storm |
| Q: Why did the blonde keep stopping then smile during a
lightning storm?
A: She thought she was getting her picture taken. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Ski season... |
| Ski season is almost here! Hence, the following list of
exercises to get you prepared:
16. Visit your local butcher and pay \$30 to sit in the walk-
in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two \$50
dollar bills to warm up.
15. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after
every use.
14. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of
your head before you go to bed each night.
13. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared
on the lenses.
12. Throw away a hundred dollar bill-now.
11. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20
times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory
bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.
Sporadically drop things.
10. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them
with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your
toes.
9. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
8. Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to
run into you at high speed.
7. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying \$8.50 for a
hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
6. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a
motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
5. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's
in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.
4. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the
spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it
melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
3. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to
take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
2. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until
it's time for the real thing! |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlanta.
The brunette team rides on the bottom of the bus. The blonde team rides on the top level.
The brunette team down below is partying having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn’t hear anything from the blondes upstairs.
She decides to get up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
The brunette asks, "What the heck’s going on up here? We’re having a great time downstairs!"
One of the blondes looks up at her, swallows hard and says, "YEAH, BUT YOU’VE GOT A DRIVER!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
| A little boy walks up to the preacher after church one day and says, "Preacher, when I grow up and get a job, I am going to give you a lot of money." The preacher says, "Why do you want to do that?" The boy replies, " Because my Daddy said that you are the poorest preacher he has ever heard." |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Getting Ready For a Trip
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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station.
Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump."Reverend," said the young man, "Sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Clever Defendant |
| A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was saying to his lawyer, "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined." |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
A Mexican was attempting to cross into America,when the border guard stopped him and asked if he was an American.
The Mexican replied,"Si Senor."
The border guard told him,"If you're an American, then use these three words in a sentance:'green','pink',and'yellow'."
The Mexican thought about it for a while and replied,"The phone go green-green, I pink it up, and I say yellow?" |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 5.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
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Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 6.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Low Self-esteem |
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Travel photos
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