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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Saturday, Jul the 4th 2009
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You Might Be A Redne |
| You might be a redneck if....your belt buckle contains more money, than your pockets do. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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50 Years |
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know,"
the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!! |
Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 6.8/10 (5 votes cast) |
| How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but the guitarist has to show him what to do
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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When can we see the baby? |
With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. May we see the new baby? one of them asked.
Not yet, said the mother. I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.
Another half hour passed before another relative asked, May we see the new baby now?
No, not yet, said the mother.
A while later and again the guests asked, May we see the baby now?
No, not yet, replied the mother.
Growing impatient, they asked, Well, when can we see the baby?
When it cries! she told them.
"When it cries? they gasped. Why do we have to wait until it cries?
Because, I forgot where I put it. |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
Three girls died and were brought to the Gates of Heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel.
St. Peter told the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question."
"Which is ...?", they replied in unison.
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the first girl.
"Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married, and was still virgin even after I got married."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the golden key."
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl.
"Oh, quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married, but was not after I got married."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... the silver key."
"Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl.
"Oh no, not at all", she said. "I practically had sex with every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime."
"Very good", said St. Peter. "Angel, give this girl... my room key." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 5.5/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Pork at a July 4th Picnic
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A priest and a rabbi met at the annual July 4th picnic. They were old friends and loved to tease one another.
"This baked ham is really good,” said the priest. “You really ought to break down and try some.”
"I will, I will,” replies the rabbi, smiling, “at your wedding.” |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Two Lost Husbands |
| Two guys, one old timer and one young, are pushing their carts around Lowe's Building Supply when they collide. The old timer says to the young guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. 'The young guy says, 'That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too.. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
| Yo momma so hairy she's a stunt double for Chewbacca in Star Wars. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy.com - The World Famous Comedy.com Daily Joke!
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
This guy in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.
"No thank you," she said politely." "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love."
"That must be rather difficult," the man replied.
"Oh, I don't mind too much," she said. "But, it makes my husband pretty upset." |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (5 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
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Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 6.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Travel photos
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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