|
Jokes of the day
|
|
Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
|
|
Bookmark jokes of the day:
|
Use this button to add jokes of the day to favourites, del, digg, myspace. Make jokes just click away wherever you are.
|
|
Missed jokes of the day yesterday?
|
|
Visit Jokes of the day archive
- all the Jokes of the day you have missed. All jokes since Jokes of the day site is running.
|
|
Note:
|
All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
Jokes feed
|
|
Jokes of the day for Wednesday, Jul the 15th 2009
|
|
Emergency doctor visit |
| A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out.
She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's wrong with me, Doctor?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, "Well, I can tell you one thing... there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 3.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
|
Husbands Sneaking Home |
| While leaving a poker party that lasted much longer than it was supposed to, as usual, two friends compared notes.
"I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone."
"Youâve got the wrong technique, my friend," his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on my wifeâs ass, and ask, 'How âbout a little?' and she pretends to be asleep." |
Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 4.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
| I went to the shop to look for some camouflage trousers, but I couldn't find any.
|
Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 4.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
|
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
Better write it down... |
My Grandpa and Grandma were sitting on their porch swing enjoying the nice evening breeze, when Grandpa lovingly leaned over and said, "Hey Ma, I'm gonna have some ice cream, would you like some?"
"Yeah, Pa, but you'd better write it down or you'll forget", says Grandma.
Grandpa replies, "I won't forget." "Alright then", says Grandma, "I'd like nuts and whipped cream and a cherry on mine.
You'd better write that down, Pa you're gonna forget it." Disgruntled, Grandpa storms off to the kitchen mumbling that he wouldn't forget.
Well he's in there a long time, and when he finally does return, he has the best lookin' plate of scrambled eggs you ever saw. He smiles his best smile and leans over to give it to Grandma.
She just smiles back and says, "I told you that you'd better write it down, you old coot, you forgot my bacon!!!"... |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
3. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
6. I WENT TO A BOOK STORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
8. IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'
12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
19. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
20. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
21. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
22. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
23. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
24. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
25. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD LISP TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
26. WHY ARE HAEMORRHOIDS CALLED HAEMORRHOIDS INSTEAD OF ASSTEROIDS?
27. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
28. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
29. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED? |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 6.8/10 (6 votes cast) |
Three doctors die in a car accident and they are at heavens door.
The gatekeeper asks the doctors, "What did you do that you should merit an entrance?"
The first doctor replies, "I developed a heart valve which saved hundred of lives."
The second doctor replies, "I developed a universal vaccine that wipe out many diseases."
The gatekeeper steps aside and lets the two doctors pass. "Go right in," he says.
The third doctor replies, "I invented the HMO's.
To which the gatekeeper responds, "You can go in, but you can only stay for three days!" |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 3.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
|
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
Q&A: Best Babysitter in the Bible
|
Q: Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q: Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A: When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
Q: What Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun.
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 3.5/10 (4 votes cast) |
|
You work for the government if... |
| 1. You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 2.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
A railfan was discussing the NSW C-79 class, pointing out its tall funnel, large driving wheels, and other characteristics which gave it an Edwardian appearance. Then his young brother, a Thomas the Tank Engine fan, came up with a picture of an unstreamlined 38-class, claiming for it a "Gordonian" appearance!
Translation: Nobody could fail to recognise the allusion to Gordon of the Fat Controller's railway!
|
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 3.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
|
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 6.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
|
|
|
Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
|
|
Webmaster resurces
|
|
On jokes of the day webmaster resurces page please find details
related to link exchange or other forms of cooperation with Jokes of the day
|
|
Jokes resources
|
|
Resources - web sites jokes are coming from, other joke related sites. Jokes of the day partners.
|
|
Travel photos
|
|
Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
|
|
|
