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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, Sep the 3rd 2009
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Homework |
Jimmy! I thought I told you to do the dishes after you do your homework! Why are you watching television?
Its okay, Mom! I havent done my homework yet. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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yo mama so fat |
| yo mama so fat when she stands on the scales it says stay tuned for the next episode. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Signs And Notices 09 |
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in an office: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
Sign in a veterinary's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Sign on music teachers' door: "Out Chopin."
Sign at the electic company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
Sign in beauty shop window: "Dye now!"
Sign on a garbage truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
Sign at a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."
Sign on restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up."
Sign in a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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Seen on the door of a music shop: "Gone Chopin with my Liszt. Bach at 2pm. Offenbach sooner."
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Chair Man of the Board |
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive''s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
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Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
"Dick Cheney said he felt terrible about shooting a 78 year old man, but on the bright side, it did give him a great idea about how to fix Social Security." -- Bill Maher
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Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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Ever wonder WHY Â
- the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
- women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
- is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
- is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
- isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
- didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
- do they sterilize the needle for lethal inje
- they don't make the whole plane out of the stuff that is used to make that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
- don't sheep shrink when it rains?
- are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- they call the airport the terminal?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
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Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Church Bulletin Bloopers: Weddings and Babies
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
The Honeymooners are now having bile studies each Tuesday evening at 7:30 p.m.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
Thursday at 5:00 pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his private study.
(For the group of ladies called Moms Who Care and pray for the children in school). When their meeting was cancelled one week: "There will be no Moms who care this week."
- Joke shared on Beliefnet's Religious Humor page |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 7.0/10 (7 votes cast) |
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Minimum Wage |
| A man owned a small Ranch In Texas. The Texas Work Force Department claimed
he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, "I
can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do
you think it is because I am a blonde?" Her mother replied, "Of
couse it is, dear."
The next day, the blonde said, "I can say the alphabet higher
then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a
blonde?"
Her mother replied, "Of course it is dear!"
The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked
her mother, "I have bigger breasts then all the kids in my
class, do you think its because I am a blonde?"
Her mother replied, "No dear, I'm sorry, I think it is because
you are eighteen years old."
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
Id like to order a bar pizza, the idiot says.
Shall I ask them to cut it into six or twelve slices, the barmaid asks.
Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces. |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 4.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
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