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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, Sep the 9th 2009
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The Penguin |
| A penguin was driving his car down the highway when steam began to pour out of the hood. He pulled into a repair shop and asked the mechanic to fix his car. The man said to come back in half an hour. So while he waited the penguin went across the street to the bar, and ordered a glass of milk. Since penguins dont have hands to hold glasses, he spilled some milk on his beak. When he returned to the mechanic, he asked what was wrong with his car. The mechanic said it looked like he blew a seal. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 2.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Blonde And a Turtle |
| What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
Once their on their back there screwed. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 7.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Simplified Income Taxes |
REVENUE CANADA *T1-SIMPLIFIED TAX FORM
New Simplified Tax Form for 2000 Taxes
1. How much money did you make in 2000?
2. Send it to us.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 4.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| A football team was short of a goalkeeper, so the captain asked a cow grazing in the next field to join the team. The cow agreed. Later, the local cricket team needed a wicket keeper, so the same cow was asked to do the job. The cow replied: "Who ever heard of a cow playing cricket?"
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 5.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Attitude toward whiskey... |
A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
On the way home from the christening of his baby brother in church, Little Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quiet and sad. His father noticed him crying and asked,
"What's wrong, little Johnny?"
Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you!!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| Next time someone asks you if they can "sneak by you," ask them how the hell they plan to do that when you know they are going by. Tell them that next time they should not warn you, and maybe, just maybe, they could sneak by. |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 4.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
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How Do You Get To Heaven?
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"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday school class.
"NO!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into heaven?"
Again the answer was, "NO!""Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven?" I asked them again.
Once more they all answered, "NO!"
"Well," I continued, thinking they were a good bit more theologically sophisticated than I had given them credit for, "then how can I get into heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Medicare Coverage In a Nutshell |
| The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.' |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The man said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
Id like to order a bar pizza, the idiot says.
Shall I ask them to cut it into six or twelve slices, the barmaid asks.
Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces. |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (8 votes cast) |
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Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
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Travel photos
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