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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Monday, Sep the 14th 2009
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Cheater |
| The blonde complained to her friend, "I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his!" |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 3.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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New Miranda Rights |
1. You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me.
2. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth.
3. You have the right to have your lawyer run with you. Should he refuse, a recent Law School graduate will be appointed by the court to jog along with you.
4. If while running, you suddenly decide to end the race, beware that my K-9 may or may not understand your intentions, and may continue his persuit of you in full stride.
5. You may stop running at any time, at your own risk.
6. Good luck. On your mark, get set....GO!!!!!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| A football team was short of a goalkeeper, so the captain asked a cow grazing in the next field to join the team. The cow agreed. Later, the local cricket team needed a wicket keeper, so the same cow was asked to do the job. The cow replied: "Who ever heard of a cow playing cricket?"
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 5.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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Church members... |
Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming new members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the third couple was newly married.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.
The retired couple said it was no problem at all.
The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that it was no problem.
The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint.
"Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister.
"Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over."
The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church.
"That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 8.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the husband. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.
"We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.
My wife quietly said 'That's once.'
We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife, a redhead, promptly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule.
I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, 'That's once'." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.3/10 (8 votes cast) |
A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady. A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and had to let loose a big noisy fart.
Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her "Do you by any chance have today's paper"? The lady looked at him and said "No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves." |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (6 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
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"If you talk to God, it's prayer. If God talks to you, it's schizophrenia." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 2.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning.
The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Doug's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Doug asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary.
"And what day will that be?" the clerk asked.
Glumly he replied, "Yesterday". |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.6/10 (7 votes cast) |
Id like to order a bar pizza, the idiot says.
Shall I ask them to cut it into six or twelve slices, the barmaid asks.
Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces. |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (8 votes cast) |
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How Yodelling Began |
| Have you ever wondered where and how yodelling began? |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
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Travel photos
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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