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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, Sep the 20th 2009
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Mouse Droppings |
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagles butt and asks, How high up are we?
About 2,000 feet, the eagle replies.
The mouse replies, You aint sh*ttin me, are you? |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Dark |
| Two Rednecks were sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life.
One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern.
One drunk says, "I sure wish that sheep was Marilyn Monroe."
The other says, "I just wish it were dark."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Sudanese Government |
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
When the Sudanese government showed an interest in buying two Russian transport planes to ferry supplies to famine-ridden ares in the south, the acting Soviet ambassador allowed the Sudanese to test-fly the aircraft. They flew to rebel-held Yirol and bombed the city, pushing bombs out of the cargo doors.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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| A man was driving a horse and cart along a country road at an angle of 45 degrees. After three miles like this, he asked a passer-by: "How long does this blasted hill last?"
"This isn't a hill," came the reply. "Your back wheels are off!"
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 2.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
On a recent Canadian TV show there was a black comedian who said he misses Bill Clinton.
Yep, that’s right - I miss Bill Clinton!
He was the closest thing we ever got to having a black man as President.
Number 1 - He played the sax.
Number 2 - He smoked weed.
and
Number 3 - He screwed ugly white women.
Even now - Look at him..
His wife works and he don’t;
And, he gets a check from the government every month. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| I was in a hurry. I was driving like a maniac, running lights, driving on the sidewalk, and cutting people off. I had just cut in front of this guy when he yelled "You Â
Â
.! If I were a cop I'd give you a ticket!" I yelled back "You Idiot, if you were a cop I wouldn't be driving like this!" |
Permalink | Source : Dos santos online - Not joke related site, but with joke of the day
Rating: 7.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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The Church Gossip
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Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of church morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Some members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Henry and everyone about what he was doing.
Henry, a man of few words, stared at her and walked away. He said nothing. Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house and walked home. He left his truck in front all night...
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member socaliflady |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Make It a Scotch |
| The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" |
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"? |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
Id like to order a bar pizza, the idiot says.
Shall I ask them to cut it into six or twelve slices, the barmaid asks.
Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces. |
Permalink | Source : Kiwi box - today's pick Joke of the day
Rating: 4.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
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