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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, Oct the 1st 2009
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Condom |
| Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me Im going in. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Ventriloquist |
| A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!" |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Chinese Plane Crash |
Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.
In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the mainland China coast, a 60s era American-built Lockheed Electra propeller airliner with 24 US Navy passengers/observers aboard chewed up one of China's best state-of-the-art supersonic fighter aircraft.
The Americans utilizing the infrequently seen combat tactic of straight and level flight, often accomplished by relying solely on auto pilot, engaged the unfortunate single seat combat jet and knocked it out of the air using only one of its four formidable rotating air mass propeller weapons system.
After the action, the crew and passengers/observers dropped in on China's Hainan Island Resort for some much-deserved R&R as guests of the Chinese government.
Reprinted from the Taiwan Daily Gazette
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| Woman: "Do you like my new windscreen wiper – I got it for my husband."
Friend "Sounds like a fair swap."
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Actual instruction lables found on products... |
ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.
ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.
ON BOOTS CHILDRENS' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
ON A KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning keep out of children.
ON A STRING OF CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
"Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone. "Two naked men are climbing towards my bedroom window!"
"This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the Police Department."
"No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker
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I'm pretty sure God prefers spiritual fruits to religious nuts. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 4.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
Australian brain transplant
An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. "Well" said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain". "That's OK" said the Englishman. "I've always wanted to be Irish and I'm prepared to take the risk".
The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry!!" the doctor said. "Instead of removing half the brain, I've taken the whole brain out". The patient replied, "No worries, mate!!"
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (6 votes cast) |
| A Spanish man wants to buy a soda from the soda machine. He puts in some change. The machine says "DIME". The man tells the machine "Yo quiero Pepsi!" |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
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Travel photos
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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