JOKES OF THE DAY

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John,

a poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone.

It seems one night after gettin' with his wife;

she loped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.

Penis that is.

Clean cut.

Missed his nuts.

Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsue by his side

And Lorena is in the car taking willie for a ride.

She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,

And she tossed him out the window as she went around a bend.

Curve that is.

Tossed the nub

in the scrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack

and they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back.

They sniffed and they barked And they pointed 'over there'.

To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.

Found that is.

By the fence.

Evidence.

So the dick doc said, `Hey, I can fix your dong.

A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need.'

And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed.

Whizzed that is.

Even seam.

Straight steam.

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his dick to court.

With a half-arsed lawyer, 'cause his assets came up short.

They cleared her assault and acquitted him of rape

And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.

Video that is.

Unexposed.

Case closed.

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear?!

A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members.

A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.

She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off."

"GOD LOVES YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"