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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, Oct the 18th 2009
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Guys and Dolls |
Two drunk guys try to pick up some girls. The girls take the drunk guys home, slip blowup dolls into their beds and leave.
The next morning, the one guy tells the other guy, I think my girl was a witch! When I bit her on the tit, she hissed and flew away. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Bad temper problem |
| Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!
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Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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The Bad And The Worse News |
A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
Man: And the bad news?
Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease.
Man: That's great. I was afraid I had cancer!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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| What happened when the hyena swallowed an Oxo cube?
He became a laughing stock!
Hilary Rae
How do young wizards and witches correct their homework?
They use a spell-checker.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 4.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
Five guys were in a bar. Feeling slightly sloshed, they started to argue with each other about the size of their penises.
Eventually the discussion escalated into a full-blown argument, with each man thinking his penis was the biggest. The bartender suggested, "Put them on the bar so we can compare."
The drunks did just that. Shortly, a gay man came in the bar, looked around, and said to the bartender, "I think I'll have the buffet." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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The Lord Is on the Phone
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A Catholic priest, a Lutheran minister and an Evangelical preacher are arguing about religion one day when the phone rings.
The priest gets up to answer it. After listening for few moments, he says, “Yes, I will pass on the news,” and hangs up.
Turning to the others, he says, “I have good news and bad news.”
"Really? Do tell,” the minister says.
"My friends,” the priest announces, "that was the Lord Jesus on the phone, and he was calling to say he’s back."
"Glory be!” shouts the preacher. “What could possibly be bad news now?”
"Well,” the priest says, “He was calling from Salt Lake City.”
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member mytmouse57
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Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 2.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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jokes of the day ads
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jokes of the day ads
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.3/10 (9 votes cast) |
Three old ladies sit in a diner, discussing their health. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!"
The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 6.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
The young couple is on their honeymoon. After a few hours of exhausting great sex he says, "Now you won't see me for a while."
"We're on our honeymoon!" she exclaims. "Where do you think you're going?"
"Nowhere, Sweetie," he says. "Please turn over."
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Permalink | Source : Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
| They say first year university is difficult, but students actually sophomore in their second year. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Old Couple |
A couple who'd been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?"
He moved over and sat close to her.
"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?"
He reached over and held her tight.
"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?"
With that, her husband got up and started to walk out of the room.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth." |
Permalink | Source : Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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