JOKES OF THE DAY

He says, "How much?"

She says, "Twenty bucks."

He says, "All right."

They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, he runs into the same hooker. They go under the boardwalk, only this time while he's banging her, she blasts two incredible farts. When they get done, he hands her twenty-FIVE dollars.

She says, "What the extra five?"

He says, "That's for blowing the sand off my balls."

An angel appeared at a faculty meeting and told the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord would reward him for his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selected infinite wisdom.

Done!” said the angel and disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Then all heads turned toward the dean who sat surrounded by a faint halo of light. He seemed stunned and shocked as a cloud of silence encompassed the room.

One of his colleagues leaned over and whispered to him, “Say something.”

The dean, now filled with infinite wisdom said, “I should have taken the money.”

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's \$20.00". She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound Of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her..being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be \$25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was \$20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is \$20.00, the duck call is \$3.00, and the stink bait is\$2.50."