|
Jokes of the day
|
|
Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
|
|
Bookmark jokes of the day:
|
Use this button to add jokes of the day to favourites, del, digg, myspace. Make jokes just click away wherever you are.
|
|
Missed jokes of the day yesterday?
|
|
Visit Jokes of the day archive
- all the Jokes of the day you have missed. All jokes since Jokes of the day site is running.
|
|
Note:
|
All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
Jokes feed
|
|
Jokes of the day for Friday, Dec the 11th 2009
|
|
That’ll show ‘em! |
|
Permalink | Source : Fail blog - Epic Fail Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments
Rating: 2.9/10 (10 votes cast) |
|
Blonde Smoker |
Q: How did the blonde put out her cigarette?
A: She threw it in the water and stepped on it. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 6.3/10 (6 votes cast) |
|
Religious truths |
| Remember, there are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian church.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 3.7/10 (7 votes cast) |
|
Ant And A Grasshopper |
THE ORIGINAL VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MODERN CANADIAN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come the winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
The CBC shows up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAGB (The national association of green bugs) shows up on The National and charges the ant with green bias, and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on the Nature of Things with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's not easy being green.
"Jean Chretien makes a special guest appearance on the CBC Evening News to tell a concerned public that they will do everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Reagan/Thatcher summers. Sheila Copps exclaims in an interview with Peter Mansbridge that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."
Finally, the Liberals draft the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. John Turner gets his law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal hearing officers that Chretien appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday's between 1:30 and 3 PM.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing Jean Chretien standing before a wildly applauding group of liberals announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in Canada.
|
Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 3.0/10 (7 votes cast) |
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
|
|
jokes of the day ads
|
| In Wales, after a road accident, police instruct motorists to drive Caerphilly.
|
Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 3.3/10 (18 votes cast) |
|
Do you know who I am.... |
President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home. The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.
Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"
The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 3.2/10 (6 votes cast) |
A Womans Prayer
Dear Lord,
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 4.5/10 (8 votes cast) |
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
|
|
jokes of the day ads
|
|
Q&A: Why Was Moses Wicked?
|
Q. Why was Moses the most wicked man?
A. He broke all 10 Commandments at once.
Q. What animal could Noah not trust?
A. The cheetah.
Q. What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark?
A. Flood lights. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 3.1/10 (8 votes cast) |
|
The Top Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women |
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you are on the road.
#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7. Your primary gun does not mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
#5. A gun does not take up a lot of closet space.
#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
#3. A gun does not ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2. A gun does not mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman...
#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
|
Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 4.5/10 (6 votes cast) |
CREATION
A man said t o his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
|
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.4/10 (7 votes cast) |
| Political Correctness as most of us realize is the biggest joke of the century. |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 2.7/10 (6 votes cast) |
The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."
"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "May I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change..."
|
Permalink | Source : Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
Rating: 4.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
| When I saw a wicker furniture outlet in Copenhagen, I knew there was something ratan in the state of Denmark. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 3.2/10 (6 votes cast) |
|
Pregnant |
Jack has a girlfriend he takes to a hotel for a night of pleasure. Lying in bed the following morning he's getting heartburn from worrying about the possible unpleasant consequences that could result from his indiscretion. He asks his companion: "What would you do if you found out you were pregnant?"
"I'd jump out of this tenth-story window!", she tells him.
Jack, with a great sigh of relief, looks at her admiringly and says, "Such a doll." |
Permalink | Source : Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
Rating: 6.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
At NC State University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry.
They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident, that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time. However, after all the hardy-partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Raleigh until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it.
They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to return Sunday to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldnÂ’t get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final. The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: For 95 points: Which tire? |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 5.6/10 (20 votes cast) |
|
|
|
Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
|
|
Webmaster resurces
|
|
On jokes of the day webmaster resurces page please find details
related to link exchange or other forms of cooperation with Jokes of the day
|
|
Jokes resources
|
|
Resources - web sites jokes are coming from, other joke related sites. Jokes of the day partners.
|
|
Travel photos
|
|
Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
|
|
|
